Now that I have taken you into my confidence with “Confessions of a Curly Girl” and have embarrassed myself beyond measure by releasing photos that probably ought to have been burned, let’s tackle the real dilemma. What’s a girl to do without spending a fortune on products that end up in the trash because they make you look like a Kansas tumbleweed?

Who is this mysterious, wild-haired woman from my past?  She still haunts me.

I’ve done it all. Moan with me if you’ve ever slept on juice cans or cut-up potato chip cans. Ever wrapped your wet hair around your head, securing it with long clips only to wake up in the morning with your hair still wet and creases to mark the placement of every clip?   Ever had Big Sister or a friend comb segments of hair over the ironing board and smooth each one with a steam iron? A few tips on this: Choose a steady-handed operator, sit still, and make sure the iron is on a low setting!

I shy away from salon-trained personnel. Too many have sent me home in tears. Two objects, if wielded in my presence, still send me into fight or flight mode – thinning scissors and razors. Curly Girls – don’t go there!

Stylists with straight hair don’t understand the “spring factor” or the fact that different areas of your scalp are producing different degrees of curl. The top of my hair is curlier than the rest. If the top isn’t left longer, the spring factor goes into effect and I come off as Eunice, as played by Carol Burnett here.

Hair products pose another problem. I tried everything to tame and condition my dry and brittle hair, the result of endless efforts to get it to behave using dryers, irons, hot rollers – you name it.  My attempts left me bearing a marked resemblance to the poor soul in Shakespeare’s Hamlet who, should he hear the frightful tale, find that his once knotted and combined locks were to part and each particular hair to stand on end like quills upon the fretful porpentine.  I’ve had my share of porpentine days.

Around ten years ago, I spotted a woman across a crowded room who changed my life. We Curly Girls can tell the difference between a perm and natural curl in a nanosecond and hers was the real deal. However, each curl, smooth and defined, remained separated from its neighbor in a way that I can only describe as a masterpiece of style. I decided she would be my friend whether she liked it or not.

She knew the struggle. We dove into a hair discussion as though we were veterans sharing war stories. She made two recommendations.  I pass them on to you now with alll the urgency I can muster.

Firstly, order the “Curly Girl Handbook” from Amazon. No kidding. This is a guide you need. It’s written by Lorraine Massey, whose hair is curlier than mine. Her chain of salons in New York cater to Curly Girls and she’s developed a line of products that do what we’ve all been longing for – tame, de-frizz, and define those curls.

Inside, you’ll find a DVD that is a must-watch in order for you to get a grasp on the instructions outlined in the book. It’s difficult for most of us to wrap our brains around leaving a lot of product in our hair. Didn’t our mothers tell us to rinse all that stuff out? This technique may not work with other products, but it works with her line.

Here are the products I’ve been using for years now. You can find them at Ulta or at a Deva Hair Salon near you.

Secondly (and this is so important), find an actual, for-real, bona fide Deva salon and get your hair cut there by a stylist who has been trained by the Deva professionals.

Deva haircuts are a whole new ballgame. Rather than having your hair combed out and cut while stretched, each individual curl is cut while curly.  The cuts I got at Frontenac Salon in St. Louis not only changed the whole look of my hair, but they also trained me in using the products as well. You’re thinking this sounds expensive, but it isn’t. The cost covers cut, No-Poo (because there’s no poo in theirs), style and cut (yes, they always cut it twice before you leave).  I found it to be a bargain considering that you’ll only be going three times a year. Yep! They train you in how to maintain your cut in between times!

Deva also makes a nice travel set so that you can try the products. The bottles sizes comply with TSA regulations and a microfiber hair towel is included because you’ll discover that you’ll never want another terry cloth towel to touch your head again. An old T-shirt also works well to keep from ruffling up your “do”.

I’m sure your travel set will look a little spiffier than the one in the photo.  Mine has accompanied me on many a journey.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I’m about to share with you some issues that I’ve had with hair loss. Though I have always been an extreme “shedder” and I haven’t noticed an increase with the use of Deva products, I have done an online search and have found several folks who feel it has been an issue for them. I may take a brief hiatus (though I hate to do so) just to see if I notice any differences.  Do your own experimenting and research – you’ll know best what works for you.

Concerning hair loss, let me just say that to minimize this problem is just plain wrong. Much of our identity and self-worth is tied to how we feel about our face and hair. One survey showed that when people were asked what they noticed first when meeting a new person, it was a toss-up between hair and shoes!

As I shared in “It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Humidity: Confessions of a Curly Girl”, I had to deal with hair loss through chemo years ago. It was no badge of courage for me. I had recurrent dreams about hair the whole time. I dreamed about my hair and everybody else’s for months. It returned in time, curls and all, and I’ve never wished my curls away since.

There are other things besides chemo, however, that can take away your hair. A few years ago, after burning my candle at both ends for too long a time, I fell into Stage 3 Adrenal Fatigue. When my body ran out of its much needed cortisol, everything else crashed along with it – thyroid and just about every hormone on the list.

I am not your doctor and cannot advise you, but I will tell you from personal experience that adrenal fatigue is real, there are lab tests for it, I have faithfully followed my doctor’s treatment and it has worked!

I lost a lot of hair. Since I’d already been there, done that and gotten my T-shirt at the Relay for Life, I had no intention of letting this get to the point of no return. Curls became a blessing as their fluff enabled me to hide how much hair I’d lost. There were tears – lots of them!

If you have hair loss, stop attributing it to age or other factors that you think are just part of life. Something can be done. See a doctor specializing in functional medicine who knows how to check your blood work, thyroid, adrenals and hormones in ways that “regular” doctors do not. Get some answers because the answers are out there!  Don’t be afraid to ask what else can be done.

When my adrenals, thyroid and other hormones began to return to normal levels, I told my doctor that I wanted to get more aggressive in speeding up the return of my hair. She recommended these supplements from Elon Essentials and I can’t say enough good things about them.

I take a capsule daily and apply the serum every morning to the areas where I’ve noticed the most thinning. This is a slow process as you wait through several shedding cycles, but I’ve gotten a lot of hair back throughout the two years I’ve been using it.

Curly Girls, may your days be filled with low humidity, definition and zero-frizz! May you have glorious curls and plenty of them! My former tumbleweed now looks healthy and defined while I’m waiting for more of my volume to return.

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