I’m playing just a bit of catch-up here because, though we say we’re the ones who never get sick, it happened. The crud hit the house and Pookie’s house as well and the First Friday Freebie isn’t the only thing suffering delay. Christmas got bumped as well. But we’re going strong once again and I hope that you are also and that you are having a Happy New Year!
Let’s meet the latest winner –
Francine from Boonville, Missouri.
Congratulations, Francine! I’m glad the delivery of the freebie was not delayed, so these lovely, festive kitchen towels made to you in plenty of time to spruce up your kitchen ahead of any Christmas festivities.
Francine commented as directed on my post on the first Friday of the month. That is all any subscriber needs to do to enter to win. If you’d like to see other past winners and their gifts check it out hereon my Freebies! page.
You can see the most recent First Friday Freebie offer here.
Not yet a subscriber to Midwest Storyteller? Hopefully, my Freebies, not to mention the stories, recipes and other great content, will entice you to become one – freebies are for email subscribers only.
NOTE: Subscribe with an email you intend to keep and check the week after the drawings. This is my only means of notifying winners. If it isn’t up to date, you may not get your gift!
Computers, tablets, smartphones – they each give this blog a different appearance, but you can easily find the subscription area in the menu under “CONTACT”. Confirm your subscription when the email arrives. If you’ve don’t receive a confirmation email, please email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com – it seems that from time to time, a subscription will get “stuck”.
Subscribers get an email reminder each time there’s something new – like when there’s a FREEBIE on the First Friday of every month.
Comment as directed on the post that offers the Freebie and you’ll be entered to win.
Freebies help me reach more people. I need you to help me share all the fun with your friends and family. When you share on MeWe, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, you’ll give them the opportunity to subscribe and win also. Subscribing is free. Freebies are free. What can be better in today’s economy?
Coming up on January 6th, you’ll see the new Freebie. Enter to win that day. A winner is chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight. Then, check your email in the days following.
Smartphone reminders help.
Take a moment make yourself familiar with the complete Freebie Rules by clicking HERE.
Subscribers, be ready to enter to win on Friday, January 6th, 2023.
As I mentioned in November, I had asked God to help me see the beauty in winter. I smile that He has made it easy on me so far by giving the blessing of mild temperatures. Although it turned cold again today, we eased out of the old year and into the new with warmth and time outside. Smuffy has been doing the things Smuffy does in the back yard and yesterday I took Lil’ Snookie out for a romp and we ran around and kicked the ball like spring lambs. (Actually, I ‘ve never seen spring lambs kick balls, but you get the idea.) The Midwest has got to show its true colors sooner or later, but I’ll cross that icy bridge when I come to it.
Welcome to December! (As if I am in charge of December. If I were, we’d have some changes in the usual temps and precips.)
The fabulous upside to this month, of course, is the celebration of Christmas! Another thing I’m celebrating is being married to Smuffy (today is our anniversary). To top it all off, it’s the first Friday of the month so today you can enter to win the First Friday Freebie. Let’s take a peek at it –
There are always a few more people around during the holiday season and things need to be freshened up. A few new linens help brighten up the kitchen and these towels from Robert Stanley Home Collection will do just that. Each of the four towels measures 16”X26”. One has a Christmas tree farm theme which coordinates with the green and white checked towel and two are solid and embroidered with white snowflakes. Once again, these were Hobby Lobby finds that I hope you enjoy.
To enter to win the holiday towel sets, all you need to do is “Leave a Comment” on this post, saying, “Make my kitchen Christmasy!” You’ll need to leave your comment before midnight TONIGHT, December 2nd, 2022.
NOTE: An occasional problem occurs with subscribers not receiving confirmation emails. Should this happen, email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com so that I can report it and have the issue resolved.
If you are new to Midwest Storyteller and haven’t subscribed, you’ll need to do that before entering to win. Head to the right sidebar or use the menu to navigate to the “Contact” page where you can fill in your email address and then watch for your confirmation email.
No one will get to enjoy all the great things here on the blog unless you share it with your friends and family through all your social media, so if you like an idea, recipe or story you see here, be sure to share and if you save things on Pinterest like I do, hover over the photo and “pin it”. Help me get the word out!
On the “Freebies”page, you can see what readers have been winning every month.
A winner will be chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight tonight, December 2nd, by leaving a comment which says, “Make my kitchen Christmasy!”
For the complete First Friday Freebie rules, click here.
Make a promise to yourself to slow down, simplify the days ahead, celebrate the real meaning of Christmas and savor the love of those around you and the love that came down to that stable in Bethlehem so that you could have joy and peace!
I’m working on a couple of Smuffy stories for you and his tale of Christmas past is a real doozy so stay tuned! In case you’ve fallen behind, take a trip to my “Life With Smuffy” page and catch up on the laughter and thrills.
It’s cold. I always try to do my part by warming your heart with a gift every month with my First Friday Freebie. This month my freebie didn’t have to work too much because it traveled to a much warmer home.
Let’s meet the winner –
Sally from Chino Valley, Arizona.
Congratulations, Sally! I hope that, as the freebie says, you are “happy and blessed” by it. The embossed metal sign expressing gratitude was a great find at Hobby Lobby.
Sally commented as directed on my post on the first Friday of the month. That is all any subscriber needs to do to enter to win. If you’d like to see other past winners and their gifts check it out hereon my Freebies! page.
Not yet a subscriber to Midwest Storyteller? Hopefully, my Freebies, not to mention the stories, recipes and other great content, will entice you to become one – freebies are for email subscribers only.
NOTE: Subscribe with an email you intend to keep and check the week after the drawings. This is my only means of notifying winners. If it isn’t up to date, you may not get your gift!
Computers, tablets, smartphones – they each give this blog a different appearance, but you can easily find the subscription area in the menu under “CONTACT”. Confirm your subscription when the email arrives. If you’ve don’t receive a confirmation email, please email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com – it seems that from time to time, a subscription will get “stuck”.
Subscribers get an email reminder each time there’s something new – like when there’s a FREEBIE on the First Friday of every month.
Comment as directed on the post that offers the Freebie and you’ll be entered to win.
Freebies help me reach more people. I need you to help me share all the fun with your friends and family. When you share on MeWe, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, you’ll give them the opportunity to subscribe and win also. Subscribing is free. Freebies are free. Let’s be clear – Smuffy is spoken for, but his stories are free. Does it get any better than this?
Coming up on December 2nd, you’ll see the new Freebie. Enter to win that day. A winner is chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight. Then, check your email in the days following.
Smartphone reminders help.
Take a moment make yourself familiar with the complete Freebie Rules by clicking HERE.
Subscribers, be ready to enter to win on Friday, December 2nd, 2022.
As I mentioned last month, I have taken a bold step. I have asked God to help me see the beauty in winter. Aside from thinking that falling snow is pretty, I’ve pretty much failed at this for a very long time. There will be the same amount of frozen precipitation whichever mood I’m in and no amount of silent disgust on my part will move the thermometer, so I’m trying to make friends with it. However, my past failures have shown me that I’ll be needing help of a Divine nature. Either that, or I’m going to have to go visit Sally and stay for four months!
I fully disclose that as a Certified Lifestyle Coach I do, at times, receive monetary compensation as such. See The Fine Print on the “About Me” page of this blog.
We eat soup year-round at our house. We’re just soup lovers. This one has always been a favorite, but it has made it BIG with the toddler at the table! Originally, I started with a recipe from an old Betty Crocker cookbook, but I can’t find it in the newer cookbooks, nor can I find the recipe online anymore. I’ll just give credit to “Betty” for its origins though I have done my own tweaks over the years and so have had to do very little to make it Trim Healthy Mama plan-friendly.
The name? Well, when my Lil’ Snookie, who is here for lunch almost every day, graduated to solid foods and could manage it, I was sure to chop the veggies small in this soup so I could feed it to him. He was one to talk early and often and as soon as he figured out how, he was calling out “Soup!” and we all knew exactly which soup he meant. Even on his way home at night, when Pookie would tell him they were going home to have some supper, he would shout from the carseat, “Make soup!” and this was the one he wanted.
So, as these autumn days march on and prepare to turn into winter ones, I thought I’d share the soup with you.
Personally, I feel that my “Creamy Leek Soup with Chicken and Sweet Potatoes”, found here, is the best soup ever invented by me or anyone else (and it’s a repeat contest winner), but I’m not going to start an argument with Lil’ Snookie over it.
I’m offering you a free printable recipe so that you can jump right in and make the soup and beside it, you’ll find some encouraging thoughts you may also want to include as a page in your recipe binder to lift you up on “those days” when you are blessed to be cooking for your family. Just click on the banner below and both will print on one sheet.
Lil’ Snookie’s Favorite Autumn Soup “E”
1 pound 96% lean ground beef or venison (see notes)
1 cup chopped onion
4 cups water
1 cup chopped carrots
1 cup chopped celery (make these small)
1 cup cubed to 1/2″ Yukon Gold or purple potatoes
2-3 teaspoons applewood smoked sea salt or mineral salt and add a dash of liquid smoke (see notes)
1 teaspoon bottled brown bouquet sauce
1 bay leaf
1/4 teaspoon dried basil
6 tomatoes (peeled fresh and chopped, frozen from your garden or two 14 ounce cans diced tomatoes)
Instructions
In a large saucepan or Dutch oven, cook and stir meat until brown. Drain off any fat and if you did not use the super lean meat, place in a strainer and pour hot water over it.
Add onions. Cook and stir with meat until they’re tender, about 5 minutes. Add remaining ingredients except for the tomatoes. Heat to boiling and reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes.
Add tomatoes. Cover and simmer 5-10 minutes longer. Remove the bay leaf and serve.
NOTES: You could also try using lean ground turkey. Salt the soup to taste, remembering that canned tomatoes already have salt and your garden ones will need more seasoning. Don’t be tempted to use more veggies in this soup. I tried and this not only raises the carbs too much but also just doesn’t taste right. If you prep meat by browning ahead of time, this recipe goes fast. Double or triple to have in the freezer or pressure can it!
YIELD: 6 servings.
Don’t forget to round out your meal with a nice green salad with a “FP” or “E” dressing and then maybe even sip on a nice collagen trimmy. Enjoy!
If you need support in your journey to better health and weight loss, head to the Contact page and let me know. I’ll give you all the info on group sessions which I conduct locally in person on a weekly basis. Private coaching can be done in person or by phone. Share with friends and let’s see how many are ready to get Trim & Healthy!
The Trim Healthy Mama Plan is a great way to boost your immune system and we all need that right now, don’t we? Leave a comment and let me know how you like the soup and tell me what your “go to” soup is for the fall and winter months.
It’s a joyous season ahead, and we can all enjoy it in a healthier way if we are willing to learn and try new and better things.
Oh, that November could hold on just as it is, I say as I sit here at the computer at night with the windows open. That’s right – and I’m not even wearing a sweater. This is my idea of fall.
I lingered outdoors with Phoebe June, but finally had to come in and finish this post so you could have a First Friday Freebie! Don’t take it personally, but she hissed when I nudged her out of her dusky spying lair under the backyard swing. I don’t think she thought giving you a freebie was half as important as exercising her pouncabilities. Let’s take a look –
This embossed metal sign carries the message that our hearts long for. Smuffy has so often said, “This year, I’m going to take a long winter’s nap.” (Then, he has a million indoor projects and never really gets one.) We feel things beginning to slow a bit around here even though there is still much to be done to this old house. To “gather, rest, be happy and blessed” is, I believe, what God wants for us in winter. I couldn’t resist giving you this freebie as a wish that you’d experience a time of enjoying your loved ones, resting and relaxing and counting your blessings, realizing that they are truly new every morning.
The sign measures 8” square and its neutral gray color fades at the edges to look just a bit worn. It also features a rope hanger should you want to hang it on a wall rather than prop it on a shelf or easel (or on a tree as I did). This was a Hobby Lobby find that I hope you enjoy. The words remind me of the Scripture in Hebrews 4: 10-11, where we are told, “For whoever enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from His. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter His rest.” Throughout Scripture, we are told to fear not, fret not, and worry not. There seems to be just this one area in which God tells us to strive and make effort and that is to rest. You have His permission!
To enter to win the “Gather, Rest…” metal sign, all you need to do is “Leave a Comment” on this post, saying, “I’m ready to be blessed with rest.” You’ll need to leave your comment before midnight TONIGHT, November 4th, 2022.
NOTE: An occasional problem occurs with subscribers not receiving confirmation emails. Should this happen, email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com so that I can report it and have the issue resolved.
If you are new to Midwest Storyteller and haven’t subscribed, you’ll need to do that before entering to win. Head to the right sidebar or use the menu to navigate to the “Contact” page where you can fill in your email address and then watch for your confirmation email.
No one will get to enjoy all the great things here on the blog unless you share it with your friends and family through all your social media, so if you like an idea, recipe or story you see here, be sure to share and if you save things on Pinterest like I do, hover over the photo and “pin it”. Help me get the word out!
On the “Freebies”page, you can see what readers have been winning every month.
A winner will be chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight tonight, November 4th, by leaving a comment which says, “I’m ready to be blessed with rest!”
For the complete First Friday Freebie rules, click here.
Enjoy enjoy every minute of these fleeting beautiful days.
Be sure to take a look at my latest soup recipe – it’s Lil’ Snookie’s favorite!
I’ve spent most of my days lately taking Lil’ Snookie to the park as we try to relish every bit of warmth and sunshine before it’s all over. I’ve checked both versions of the almanac and they both assure me that come the end of this month, it’s all over. I did take time to get my First Friday Freebie to its new home, though.
Let’s take a look at the winner –
Ruby from Boonville, Missouri.
Congratulations, Ruby! I know you love to decorate and you also have fun kiddos around, so it won’t be long before you have some fun décor or a great photo to slip into the holder at the top of this wood block. It was a great find at Hobby Lobby.
Ruby won by commenting as directed on my post on the first Friday of the month. If you’d like to see other past winners and their gifts check it out hereon my Freebies! page.
Not yet a subscriber to Midwest Storyteller? Hopefully, my Freebies, not to mention the stories, recipes and other great content, will entice you to become one – freebies are for email subscribers only.
NOTE: Subscribe with an email you intend to keep and check the week after the drawings. This is my only means of notifying winners. If it isn’t up to date, you may not get your gift!
Computers, tablets, smartphones – they each give this blog a different appearance, but you can easily find the subscription area in the menu under “CONTACT”. Confirm your subscription when the email arrives. If you’ve don’t receive a confirmation email, please email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com – it seems that from time to time, a subscription will get “stuck”.
Subscribers get an email reminder each time there’s something new – like when there’s a FREEBIE on the First Friday of every month.
Comment as directed on the post that offers the Freebie and you’ll be entered to win.
Freebies help me reach more people. I need you to help me share all the fun with your friends and family. When you share on MeWe, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, you’ll give them the opportunity to subscribe and win also. Subscribing is free. Freebies are free. Let’s be clear – Smuffy is spoken for, but his stories are free. Does it get any better than this?
On November 4th, you’ll see the new Freebie. Enter to win that day. A winner is chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight. Then, check your email in the days following.
Smartphone reminders help.
Take a moment make yourself familiar with the complete Freebie Rules by clicking HERE.
Subscribers, be ready to enter to win on Friday, November 4th, 2022.
November has managed to stay on my good side so far. Warm days with temperatures in the 60’s and 70’s and glorious color all around draw me outside and away from indoor chores (and from writing to you dear readers if I’m honest). I may have to take a firm line with this month if it suddenly decides to disappoint me, but I may be wasting my energies there. Today I did ask the Lord to perform a miracle in my life by requesting that He help me see the beauty in winter. Perhaps being open to that notion is the first baby-step for a person like me.
Hello Dear Readers and Hello October! A person can’t get too many days like the ones we’ve been having. I’ve been spending as much time with Lil’ Snookie out in the open spaces as I possibly can. Now his first question when he arrives at my door is, “Going to the park today?” And so, off we go! The only one who is unhappy is Phoebe June, who would much rather we stay home and play in the back yard because she can then go out with us. She’s a little disgruntled and insulted about the harness because it inhibits her ability to consider herself fully free and “on the hunt”, but she can’t have her way all the time. She has plenty to say on her own page here.
Speaking of free – Today’s the day! Welcome to October’s First Friday Freebie.
You know how I love to bless you with a spot of cute décor –
At this time of year especially, it does the soul good to stop and take stock of all the ways you’ve been blessed throughout the year and offer up thanks to the Giver of all good things. This painted wooden tabletop décor measures approximately 3” X 6” and encourages us to “in all things give thanks”. It’s about an inch thick so it won’t easily topple and at the top you can insert something as a nod to any season (as I did with the leaves in the photo) or just insert that great photo of the people you’re most thankful for. If you happen to be a lover of Scripture, this will also serve to remind you of I Thessalonians 5:18. This was a great find at Hobby Lobby and I hope you enjoy it.
To enter to win the Give Thanks décor, all you need to do is “Leave a Comment” on this post, saying, “I have much to be grateful for!” Somehow, we can all say that, even if we have been having our share of troubles lately. You’ll need to leave your comment before midnight TONIGHT, October 7th, 2022.
NOTE: An occasional problem occurs with subscribers not receiving confirmation emails. Should this happen, email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com so that I can report it and have the issue resolved.
First Friday Freebies are for email SUBSCRIBERS ONLY, so you’ll want to subscribe over on the right sidebar or use the menu to navigate to the “Contact” page where you can subscribe to Midwest Storyteller if you haven’t done so.
I hope you enjoy freebies and share them and my blog stories with your friends and family through all your social media. If you like an idea, recipe or story you see here, be sure to hover over the photo and “pin it”. Help me get the word out!
On the “Freebies”page, you can see what readers have been winning every month.
A winner will be chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight tonight, October 7th, by leaving a comment which says, “I have much to be grateful for!”
For the complete First Friday Freebie rules, click here.
Oh that we could spend each and every glorious day ahead just taking walks and enjoying lower temperatures and humidity. Smuffy is building a porch and I have many irons in the fire as well but we plan to snatch every pleasant moment ahead before winter sets in. I hope you can, too.
This post is where you get to see me playing catch-up. Life has happened and it’s been a struggle to keep up here on the blog this summer, but the First Friday Freebies have not stopped – I’ve just had an issue with making the announcements. Let’s take a look at who’s been winning –
Now for my list of lame excuses.
In June, Lee Ann entered to win and received the pretty “beachy” necklace you can see here. In her defense, she did send me a photo. However, it has vanished so I’m assuming I somehow deleted it by accident.
July’s winner, Vikki, has not sent me a photo. She won the sparkly patriotic earrings you can see here. I know her well enough to guess that she probably hoped I’d forget about the photo as she’s not fond of “making appearances”. I can, however, get around this because of her status as a previous winner. Here she is with the comfy-cozy scarf she won on another first Friday.
August was a bust. We had router problems which held hands with server problems and during the days I should have been preparing and posting the August First Friday Freebie we had cyber chaos. I started to get all frantic about it and finally just took a deep breath and made peace with the fact that stuff happens and if there was no August freebie, the world would keep on turning.
In September, the First Friday Freebie went to Debby (pictured above) and I did get a photo. Congratulations, Debby! I hope you enjoy this fun bit of harvest décor and find a place in your home to display it. It was a fun find at Hobby Lobby.
Well now! I’m starting to feel like I’m getting back on track! Let’s hope it stays that way because the busy season is upon us. I enjoy blessing my readers with free gifts and also the gift of good laughs and good food, so look for some great recipes and a couple of tales from the most popular page on my blog, Life With Smuffy coming up soon.
Lee Ann, Vikki and Debby won by commenting as directed on my post on the first Friday of the month. If you’d like to see other past winners and their gifts check it out hereon my Freebies! page.
Not yet a subscriber to Midwest Storyteller? Hopefully, my Freebies, not to mention the stories, recipes and other great content, will entice you to become one – freebies are for email subscribers only.
NOTE: Subscribe with an email you intend to keep and check the week after the drawings. This is my only means of notifying winners. If it isn’t up to date, you may not get your gift!
Computers, tablets, smartphones – they each give this blog a different appearance, but you can easily find the subscription area in the menu under “CONTACT”. Confirm your subscription when the email arrives. If you’ve don’t receive a confirmation email, please email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com – it seems that from time to time, a subscription will get “stuck”.
Subscribers get an email reminder each time there’s something new – like when there’s a FREEBIE on the First Friday of every month.
Comment as directed on the post that offers the Freebie and you’ll be entered to win.
Freebies help me reach more people. I need you to help me share all the fun with your friends and family. When you share on MeWe, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, you’ll give them the opportunity to subscribe and win also. Subscribing is free. Freebies are free. Let’s be clear – Smuffy is spoken for, but his stories are free. Does it get any better than this?
On October 7th, you’ll see the new Freebie. Enter to win that day. A winner is chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight. Then, check your email in the days following.
Smartphone reminders help.
Take a moment make yourself familiar with the complete Freebie Rules by clicking HERE.
Subscribers, be ready to enter to win on Friday, October 7th, 2022.
October is a month of autumn splendor. If you live in the Midwest, October makes you feel a bit sorry for the folks who live where the seasons don’t change – those people who just enjoy day after day in the same old tropical paradise. That sympathetic feeling leaves us usually around January 2nd.
Just the little flip of the calendar from August to September makes you want to sniff the air for the scent of pumpkin “something”. We’re actually trying not to sniff too hard right now around our house because our great outdoors is not so great. “Something” is out there. We don’t know what it is or where it is, but we do know it’s dead. I have been informed by Lil’ Snookie that he “smell sumping. I don’t like it.” We may have to diffuse pumpkin spice scent all over our back yard pretty soon.
Now that I’ve gone unpleasantly off-topic, let’s get back to Freebies. Last month’s first Friday fell victim to circumstances. The internet went off, the router suffered the same fate as that mysterious carcass (blessedly without the stench) and Lil’ Snookie didn’t allow me the hours I needed to sort the whole thing out in time to post the First Friday Freebie. Again – my apologies.
I’m here to help you get back in the mood with this bit of cute décor –
This Autumn Acres sign will direct people straight to your pumpkin patch. It measures 6” X 4” so it’s small enough to tuck into a shelf or prop on an easel on your desk or counter. It does have an attached twine to hang it on the wall as well. Does it matter that you may not be offering apple cider, hay rides and hot cocoa to your guests? Of course not – we can all pretend.
This was a great find at Hobby Lobby and I hope you enjoy it.
To enter to win the Autumn Acres sign, all you need to do is “Leave a Comment” on this post, saying, “Bring on the autumn days!” We’re ready for them here in the Midwest – it’s been a long, hot summer. You’ll need to leave your comment before midnight TONIGHT, September 2nd, 2022.
NOTE: An occasional problem occurs with subscribers not receiving confirmation emails. Should this happen, email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com so that I can report it and have the issue resolved.
First Friday Freebies are for email SUBSCRIBERS ONLY, so you’ll want to subscribe over on the right sidebar or use the menu to navigate to the “Contact” page where you can subscribe to Midwest Storyteller if you haven’t done so.
I hope you enjoy freebies and share them and my blog stories with your friends and family through all your social media. If you like an idea, recipe or story you see here, be sure to hover over the photo and “pin it”. Help me get the word out!
On the “Freebies”page, you can see what readers have been winning every month.
A winner will be chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight tonight, September 2nd, by leaving a comment which says, “Bring on the autumn days!”
For the complete First Friday Freebie rules, click here.
Oh that we could spend each and every glorious day ahead just taking walks and enjoying lower temperatures and humidity. Smuffy is building a porch and I have many irons in the fire as well but we plan to snatch every pleasant moment ahead before winter sets in. I hope you can, too.
You know how it is. Some things are funny right away. The minute they happen, everyone rolls on the floor with hysterics and claims that this is one for the record books. Other things – well, you have to have a little time and distance before you can get a good chuckle out of them. If you’re not convinced of this, you’ll come around to my point of view by following Smuffy’s river adventures here and here and his DIY attempts here and here.
In sharing the first of this trio of happenings, I think it’s safe to call it an expose. I begin with the fact that Smuffy is modest. If you got a mental picture from “Smuffy Gets It Clean”of just how clean he is, it is fair to say that he considers cleanliness next to modesty. Smuffy keeps it covered. The idea of mowing the back yard without a shirt to avoid a farmer tan would give him an embarrassed shudder and the one old photo that he hates to have displayed is from the time when he threw caution to the wind, bought a tank shirt and wore it camping. I find it hard to believe that he appeared in this birthday photo, all smiles, in a state that he had to consider semi-nude. The tan lines bear proof that it didn’t happen often. And, no, Smuffy didn’t have a gold tooth – that’s some weird reflection. I’d go on and on about what a hunk this guy is, but you can see that for yourself.
Perhaps it teaches us humility when the things that bring us the most embarrassment are allowed to happen to us. Don’t all things happen for a reason? Smuffy seems to get his share of humble pie when it comes to staying dressed. Today I share only one so as to avoid excessive pinkness to his cheeks.
Of course, wouldn’t you know, this incident happened on water. In his alter-ego as Captain-Super-Wonder-Water-Man, Smuffy may have had some death-defying adventures, such as told here and here, but he managed throughout those to keep his clothes on until the time he vowed not to get in the water at all.
When a couple of friends asked Smuffy to head to the lake one weekend for boating and tubing, I heaved a sigh. The gleam had come into his eye already. Talking Smuffy out of a thing is next to impossible and I knew a bad idea when I heard one. I also knew that being thrown all over the water’s surface on this brand new tube toy by a couple of guys who delighted in half-killing one another was practically irresistible in Smuffy’s book.
“Saturday’s supposed to be a beautiful day,” he remarked.
“So you’re going?”
“No, I’ve been sick with this crud all week. I probably don’t need a whole lot of lake water flushed up my nose. I’m better off with an easy weekend of taking care of some stuff that needs doing around the house.”
I could have pirouetted around the room at this display of common sense. However, it didn’t last long. The next day, when he broke the news to the boys, their disappointment had him wavering.
“You know”, he commented over lunch. “I wouldn’t have to get in the water.”
“What?”
“If I went to the lake, I wouldn’t have to get in the water. I could drive the boat for the other guys.”
“Seriously? You think you could stand it? One look at those guys having fun on that new toy and you’ll have to have your turn! Then, you’ll be sick – sicker than ever – and are you going to call in sick on Monday?”
“I could just drive…”
I gave Smuffy the look. Many a time Smuffy has gotten the look and has been too dense to notice, but this time he knew I’d read his mail, wasn’t falling for his story and was prepared to say, “I told you so” in that wifely way that tends to make home life most unpleasant.
He dropped the subject.
The next day, he came back with a tactical approach he felt would guarantee results.
“I won’t take swim trunks, or a towel, or anything of the kind. I’ll just go in regular clothes. That way, no amount of temptation could induce me to get in the water.”
Now he had me wavering. Though I saw no chance of him resisting the fun, I saw the possibility of him skinny-dipping, much less skinny-tubing, as completely beyond the realm of possibility.
“But you’re sick…” I trailed off, abandoning my useless words.
“The sunshine will do me good,” he said, in that tone that let me know that further discussion would be one of those trips around the mulberry bush that wears on a relationship.
Saturday came and Smuffy appeared before me as if on a fashion runway to display that he was clad fully in underwear, socks, oxfords, and a cotton shirt tucked into a pair of tan pants that he even sometimes wore to church when in a casual mood. They were the sort without belt loops, trendy among guys at the time, with a half-belt in front that fastened with a D ring and elastic at the back. No, he didn’t look like a nursing home patient – they looked cute on his tushy.
“Just drivin’ the boat!” he declared.
“Uh-huh.” (What else could I say?)
The boys got back late and I’d already gone to bed when Smuffy came in. The next day when I asked how things went, I thought he sounded more congested. He also seemed to be alternating between turning a bright rosy pink and giggling as if amused by some experience he’d be happy not to re-live.
I decided to pry.
“So, is that new water toy all it was cracked up to be?”
“Oh, yeah, it was great!”
“Then tell me how on earth you managed to stay out of the water all day? Didn’t watching the guys have fun take its toll on your willpower?”
The blush returned.
“Well, I didn’t exactly stay out of the water.”
“You got in with all your clothes?”
“No, after a while, I figured if I just took off my shoes, socks and shirt, I could take a turn or two”, he remarked, looking out the window at nothing in particular.
“And…?”
“Well, I thought if I just grabbed that belt and yanked that D ring really tight I could do it, you know. I mean, I had it so tight it nearly cut off all my circulation!”
“And…?”
“It didn’t work.”
I merely tilted my head to one side and waited for the rest.
“They took off with that boat at top speed and it just sucked everything right off – pants, underwear – everything.”
“And then you did what?” I asked, for I knew how Smuffy felt about disrobing.
“Well, the boys circled back around to me, but the clothes were gone. So, they hauled me over the side of the boat and we started trying to figure out what I was going to wear. They found a scuba suit under the seat. Do you know how hard it is to put one of those on when you’re all wet and completely naked?”
Smuffy caught my eye, which showed no sympathy, rather telling him he got what he deserved. He continued, growing pinker, yet displaying a hint of amusement.
“The longer it took me to get that suit on, the louder the guys howled with laughter. They didn’t even bother to help and I was starting to get just a little ticked off. I mean, it couldn’t be that funny! That’s when I heard the cheering.”
To Smuffy’s horror, he lifted his gaze beyond the task at hand to find a pleasure craft had pulled up nearby to watch the show. All its occupants, both male and female, were lined up along the railings and waving and calling as if they’d boarded the Love Boat and left their loved ones on shore. Whistles wafted over the waves and suggestive comments, somewhat muffled by applause, came from those who were not waving their drinks at him in salute.
I’d had no desire to go along that day, but I felt a little disadvantaged for having missed it.
Smuffy learned two things that day. Firstly, that the willpower that surges within him when he’s on dry land actually does evaporate once he’s on water. Secondly, that there are certain things that if they must happen, it is better that they happen in front of total strangers. If this had happened in front of people he knew, poor Smuffy might still be somewhere in a closet…and muttering to himself, in between appointments with his therapist, that this is the end.
Little did we know that Smuffy had only begun to peel. He’d merely worked himself up for things to come. He would, again, treat some onlookers to a vision they hadn’t expected, only next time the spectators would be sober.
Stay tuned for “Smuffy Takes it Off AGAIN”.
My Life With Smuffy is always exciting. Read about our Smokin’ Hot Honeymoon. You’ll find, in Smuffy Takes the Cure that I did try intervention. Try his river adventures here and here for the white-knuckle type of adventure. Even on dry land, he tends to get himself into situations, so check that out here.
Enjoying my true tales of life with Smuffy? I’d love to know which one has been your favorite so far, so please do share in the comments!
