Perhaps you have noticed, Dear Readers, that I always welcome and request your comments here at Midwest Storyteller.  In fact, at the close of each post, I always ask that you click the button and leave me a line or two about how you like the post or how you personally relate to it.

What you haven’t noticed, however, is all the action behind the scenes. That’s because I protect you from it. You’re welcome.

I weed through the comments and approve only that which comes from my actual readers and is fit for human consumption.  The rest is what you might call poppycock, balderdash, horse feathers, piffle, pure applesauce or, in other words, spam.

There are days when I think spammers and scammers should try harder.  Sometimes, I wish it would all stop. At times, I’m creeped out. Then, something really rich and entertaining comes in and I’m glad I got to see it because I needed a laugh.

For some reason, out of all the posts here at Midwest Storyteller, the miscreants have landed on two in particular, but the one that seems to attract them like moths to the flame is a post I did several years ago about how Phoebe June, in her kittenhood, viewed her world’s events. One photo in the post shows her draped across the bed on her belly in a near-comatose state, giving readers a visual of her (and my own) general wintertime mood.  Take a peek at it here so that you can appreciate the comments I’ve received on it.

Let’s begin with this gem:

Definitely consider that which you stated. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the internet the simplest factor to bear in mind of.  I say to you, I definitely get annoyed even as other people think about concerns that they just don’t recognize about.  You controlled to hit the nail upon the highest and also defined about the whole thing without having side effect. Folks could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more.  Thanks.

While I sympathize with this commenter’s annoyance that other people don’t seem to share Phoebe June’s concerns, I do think they should have taken a few moments with a cool compress to the forehead and calmed themselves rather than letting loose with pure gibberish in the heat of the moment.

Let’s try another:

Great post. I used to be checking constantly this weblog and I am impressed!  Very helpful info especially the final section (inserted happy emoji here). I deal with such info much.  I was seeking this particular information for a long time.  Thanks and best of luck.

Excuse me for a moment while I wallow in the praise.  But what year is this?  Does anyone bother to say “weblog” anymore?  As for the final section being helpful, I suppose it may have been because it dealt with the fact that Phoebe June found her lone Christmas stocking to be a bit gaudy. Well, that’s one of those “don’t let this happen to you” moments and this person was able to go out and get their cat a plain one.

Now, brace yourself for a doozy:

I love as much as you’ll receive carried out right here.  The sketch is tasteful. Your authored subject matter stylish.  Nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you wish might be delivering the following.  Unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly nearly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

All right – I hate to say it, but this one can only be attributed to two things.  After I speedily ruled out the possibility that a foreign language barrier prohibited a decent translation of some actual sentiment into English, I concluded this one was due to sheer drunkenness. I doubt the commenter was even able to discern that they were looking at a cat!  However, after some consideration, I realized that it may be one of those bizarre messages one might receive from some occult practitioner who is attempting to get you to read it over and over out loud in order to make sense of it and, in the process, pronounce curses over yourself.  I’d advise you to leave this one completely alone.

I should read this next one to Phoebe June:

A fascinating subject is worth comment.  I believe that you need to publish more about this subject, it may not be a taboo subject, but typically people don’t talk about these subjects.  To the next!  Cheers!!

On second thought, she thinks she’s fascinating enough already.  She’d certainly be in agreement that she needs more attention and adoration.  And now I feel like I’ve probably committed some micro-aggression due to nobody having informed me that discussing gray and white kittens is taboo.

This person kept it simple and sincere:

This page really has all the facts and information I needed about this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

I truly feel for this poor person, or bot, or AI entity, or whatever they may be. They’d been burning with curiosity and had to wait not only for Phoebe June to be born, but for her to be adopted and experience the entire Christmas season before they ever got to find out how she felt about it. Since they have the internet, I suggest they follow some social media groups directed toward cat fanciers.

This last one is the one that caused me the most concern:

Remarkable things here.  I am very satisfied to peer your post.  Thanks so much and I am having a look forward to touch you.  Will you kindly drop me an email?

I draw the line here.  No peering.  Absolutely no touching allowed under any circumstances.   I will certainly not be dropping you an email, but if you continue to creep me out, I might just drop you in your tracks!

This, Dear Readers, is the kind of stuff you get when you have an internet presence.  I hope you enjoyed this little window into weirdness.  At this point, I am filtering it out myself and reporting it as spam.  If you want me to spend money on expensive programs to do that job for me, you’re just going to have to buy more books!

And speaking of books, the sequel to “Hear My Whisper” is receiving its final line edit as we speak and the cover is waiting for me to take one last, long look and give approval.  After that, we move in to all the final steps to get the manuscript into book form so that “Answer My Call” can be in your hands.

Let’s have fun. Leave a comment (hopefully a sane one) with items on your “wish list” for Julia Lansing and the other folks in Morgan’s Landing.  Is there something you’re hoping for?

Haven’t read Book 1 in the Morgan’s Landing Series? Grab your copies from my publisher at Ozark Hollow Press or on Amazon.

And keep a watch this week for upcoming special events where I’ll be there in person to sign books, chat with you and maybe even talk about the story within you.