The Phoebe June Diaries: (Stolen Entries #2) Holiday Hits and Misses

January 3, 2019January 3, 2019 ~ Midwest Storyteller

Ever wondered what sort of vibes your pets pick up on during the holidays? At times, they seem to know that something’s up – something’s different. Well, wonder no longer – Phoebe June’s diary has the blow-by-blow.

She’s now experienced her second Christmas and as I peek into her ponderings, see that she finds the holiday season full of ups and downs regardless of whether she’s a tiny puff-ball or a full grown epitome of feline perfection. Shortly after her adoption, she became aware of a certain something special in the air. Here are a few of her thoughts along with some photo art you and the kiddos might enjoy.

Phoebe Warm Phuzzies midweststoryteller.com

Friday, December 8, 2017

Mommy and I played so many games and toys when I got ‘dopted that I had to take naps and naps so I could grow fine and fancy.

She told me that Jesus was having a birthday and she had to do sneaky stuff so after she’d snuggle me to sleep, I’d finish my naps on the furry thing. I hoped I wouldn’t miss the big day, but Mommy said I’d get a special feeling and know when it happened because He was the one who made me so furry and cute and made sure I didn’t turn out to be a dog. I’m already liking this holiday.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017:

Yesterday, Mommy left me all alone and I cried. I cried a lot until I fell asleep. When she came home, she said I had accessories. Whatever they are, they had a funny smell so I sat on them and today she got me all accessorized and ready for the road. I thought we were going Christmas shopping.

We didn’t. We visited a man called Doctor Fray. He was nice and thought I was ‘dorable, but he smelled like all kinds of critters. It worried me at first but after a little bit I got bored and konked out on his table – most boring place ever and no special Christmas feeling here. Before I knew what was happening he gave me a pill and did a bad thing he called taking my temperature. It didn’t give me a warm and cozy Christmas feeling and next year I think I’ll give it a miss.

Phoebe's Not Shopping midweststoryteller.com

Thursday, December 14, 2017:

It got all snowy and blowy out the windows today and cold air whooshed my nose when Daddy came in and went out. Mommy calls it winter weather, but I don’t think it’s for kittens. Giving this part of Christmas a miss.

Wake Me in Spring midweststoryteller.com

Friday, December 15, 2017:

Mommy says if you don’t work out you’ll get a Christmas pudge so I went along to visit Gym. Since Dr. Fray says I only weigh a couple of pounds myself, I don’t know what she expected me to do with Gym’s toys, so I think I’ll settle for the pudge. All Gym’s people thought I was cute as a button and gave me treats, so it was a hit after all.

How Strong You Are midweststoryteller.com

After Gym, we picked up lunch for Daddy from some nice people who just hand the smelly stuff out in bags if you ask them nice. It was a hit with me and I gave the lady my best Christmas smile. She seemed surprised. I don’t know why – I smile at everybody.

Drive Thru Kitten midweststoryteller.com

Saturday, December 16, 2017:

We went to a birthday party – not Jesus’ party – one for Mommy’s and Daddy’s other sweetie-pie. They had a nice furry thing and that was a hit, but they told me afterward that they set their treats on fire before they ate them and if they do that again next year, I’m giving it a miss.

Monday, December 18, 2017:

Time (whatever that is) is running out, Mommy says, and that’s why we couldn’t snuggle much today. A kitten has to do what a kitten has to do. I’d rather have Mommy and give this new kid a miss.

No Creature Stirring midweststoryteller.com

When I woke up Mommy was wrapping boxes. That crinkly stuff is a hit with me! I tried to get onto the table where the action was, but for some reason I got in trouble with Mommy.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017:

Whatever hustle and bustle means, it keeps Mommy hopping. It’s a hit with me, though, ‘cause new stuff happens every minute, like boxes just my size, runs for the border and baskets of warm laundry.

Phoebe's Great Day midweststoryteller.com

Sunday, December 24, 2017

You never know about Daddy. He says it’s Christmas Eve and that’s special. One minute, we’re snuggling in the chair with our feet up. A kitten could get a cramp doing it like he does. The next minute he’s plunking me right into the cold, white stuff. There are some days I’m not sure Mommy should let him watch me!

Monday, December 25, 2017:

Christmas came today and Mommy was right – I could feel it.

I sniffed specialness (and a roast duck) in the air all day! I got toys and treats and that was a hit. I heard people say that that when there was no room for Jesus He got to have His birthday in a stable with all the animals and that they all got to talk that day and tell Him how special He was. The stable cat must have been what they call an ancestor of mine because I come from a long line of talkers who put the Mew in Mewey Christmas!

In the last year, Phoebe June has grown into a shining and elegant example of cathood. Her catitudes fluctuate wildly between those of that small kitten of a year ago to those of a demanding adolescent who’s convinced that parental standards are archaic and unnecessary.

She had, of course, strong opinions during the 2018 Christmas season and they mirror, to a degree, those of the previous year. I managed to snatch three snippets from her diary.

Thursday, November 29, 2018:

Mommy has ignored me off and on since Thanksgiving, but I’m forgiving her because she’s filled the whole place with wiggly, crinkly, rustly toys and the best one is this thing she thinks is a real tree but it’s not. She even put a special blanky under it for me to nap on so all I have to do is reach up and pull off the pretties I want! This thing is a HIT! Why they distract me with that stupid squirt bottle is a mystery, but you never can tell with Mommy and Daddy. Wish they’d give that thing a miss – it’s messing up my whole holiday season.

Monday, December 14, 2018:

Awesomeness popped out of a big box today and I got one of my Christmas presents early. It almost makes me want to forgive them for the squirt bottle. A jungle gym, scratcher-upper, flying mouse-birds, all combined with a napping cubby – this thing is better than Mommy’s tree – almost. Anyway, it’s a big hit!

Phoebe's Christmas Gift midweststoryteller.com

Tuesday, December 25, 2018:

I had that warm and special feeling all day that you get just thinking about how Jesus came to live with us. They hand out treats and gifts because He is such a Gift, so I figured I may as well snooze until we got to that part. I wonder about Mommy sometimes. She gets tired getting ready for the big day and it makes her do the strangest things.

Don't Blame Mommy midweststoryteller.com

She dangled a sock for me – just one, mind you – not two or four. I guess the poor thing misplaced the others. It’s just as well. I wouldn’t have wanted to be seen wearing the gaudy things in public. Anyone could tell just by looking that she bought the wrong size. Later we peeked inside it and out popped a very interesting rodent. I ignored it just for show. That’s what I do.

I played in tissue and crawled in and out of boxes and bags for hours and not one squirt from that stupid water bottle! Ah, THIS is Christmas! Later, I found my new toy, named her Rhoda and gave her the bath she needed if she’s going to be living here.

People keep talking about coming up with resolutions for 2019. I have one. Somehow, before the next time the tree goes up, I’m going to track down that squirt bottle and give it a miss! I wonder how much litter it will take to bury that thing.

Loud-mouthed, opinionated and completely loveable – that’s our Phoebe June! “Share”, “Like” and “Pin” her thoughts and adventures with the cat-lovers in your life and stick around – she’ll have more to say soon!

If you missed the first installment of “The Phoebe June Diaries”, you can catch up by clicking here. See how she celebrated National Cat Day here, and learn about how we became her forever family here!

I’d love to hear from you and so would Phoebe June so please LEAVE A COMMENT!

Phoebe June’s Big Day!

October 10, 2018October 10, 2018 ~ Midwest Storyteller ~ 6 Comments

On October 10, 2017, a kindle of kittens arrived, filling the mud room of the country home with tiny mews, squeaks and squirms. We didn’t have a clue.

Not until almost two months later did Smuffy hand me a gift bag for our anniversary. It contained, mysteriously, a can of kitten food. Since we had no cat and hadn’t had one for a decade, I stared at Smuffy, speechless.

“You don’t want a cat,” I finally managed to utter after he asked me if I intended to say anything.

“But you do,” he smiled. “And life is short, and I’m ready, and you need to get a kitty. That is, if you want one.”

I lapsed into another stunned silence for a bit and then a conversation started that lasted for the rest of the day. Here we are enjoying our anniversary dinner and still talking about it.

My main concern was that Smuffy might not be ready to become a kitty-daddy – heart and soul, that is. The last thing I wanted was to end up in a situation where he put up with a cat around the house for my sake while secretly hating every minute of it.

Once he assured me that he’d been thinking about it for months and was fully ready to commit, I got downright giddy at the thought. Since December isn’t really the season around here for “please, please, pleeeeeease take one of these kittens off my hands”, my word of mouth efforts yielded no leads.

I made a bold move and tried social media, hoping that I wouldn’t be swamped with 150 offers to wade through as I tried to make a decision.

Oddly, just one prospect appeared who had two kittens ready for a home. They both happened to be females, which I wanted, and the photos were adorable. On December 7^th, a mere five days after Smuffy lost his marbles and made the offer, we adopted Phoebe June and it’s been nothing but fun, games and squirt-bottle discipline around here ever since.

And Smuffy, you ask? His heart melted and within the first week she’d become his little “Junebug”. When it comes to kitty discipline, he dreads nothing more than having to be the bad guy. Let’s just call him Mr. Marshamallow.

As for myself, I didn’t know how much I needed Phoebe June until I got her. We romp and play as though she’s four weeks old and I’m four years old. Well, I haven’t dressed her up in doll clothes or anything, but I’ve come pretty close. I determined to keep her from being fearful of every little thing by harness “training” (and I use that word loosely because, she is, after all, a cat) her and taking her everywhere. Now, she’s a social butterfly and is not neurotic, but everybody thinks I am!

We’re celebrating around here today with a couple of extra toys from the dollar store, some “big girl” food and a trip to the vet to weigh in. You might think the latter would be enough to ruin a birthday for most cats, but Phoebe takes the kitty doctor in stride, along with her trips to see Amy Egglady, window shopping or popping in to see friends.

Happy 1^st Birthday, Phoebe June! You’ve come a long way from the little powder puff nestled in the palm of my hand.

Cat years are calculated differently than dog years. It proceeds faster at first and then slows down to a ratio of Human: 1 = Cat: 3. Right now, Phoebe is supposed to be the equivalent of a twelve-year-old. We might just be moving into more exciting times. Hmmm…

I keep this Shakespearean quote above Phoebe’s playhouse –

As you can see, it suited her from the start. Born to leap, Phoebe June flies through the air with the greatest of ease all without the need for a trapeze. Add to that the fact that she is emotionally clingy, loudmouthed and opinionated and you’ll have but a mere hint as to how our “empty nest” household has changed.

In fact, Phoebe June talks non-stop! It should have been no surprise to discover that she’s been keeping a diary. I’ll be sharing some of her thoughts and experiences with you whenever I can manage to sneak a peek without getting caught.

I’d love to hear from you, so leave a comment!

Coming up Next: I’m finally getting around to those hearty fall recipes I promised. You’ll get FREE PRINTABLES, too!

Top 10 Things You’ll Reconsider Once You’ve Become a “Kitten Mom”

January 12, 2018January 24, 2018 ~ Midwest Storyteller

Phoebe June is a delight. We adopted her on December 7^th. Later that evening, I saw via Joanna Gaines on Instagram that on that same day, Chip surprised the family with a new kitten! For a moment, I questioned whether I should change Phoebe June’s name to Magnolia, but somehow “Phoebe” had already “stuck”. We do love “Fixer Upper” and the Gaines family and wish them the best with their new additions – the kitten and the soon-to-arrive baby!

I’m sure if you’ve seen any of her innocent-looking photos, you’re assuming that Phoebe June spends her days with her powder-puff paws crossed waiting for someone to stroke her velvet fur.

The reason for that is that all the action shots I’ve tried to obtain of Phoebe have been a complete blur. When she is not striking a demure pose for the camera, Smuffy and I are taking turns at Wildcat Patrol. Well, I take more turns than Smuffy, but then I also get the most kitty cuddles, so I suppose I can live with it.

Our veterinarian wanted to know if Phoebe was alert and playful. I showed him my scratch marks.

Having a cat in the house is different from having a kitten in the house. Our last two cats, who were two years apart in age, each lived to be 16 years old, so it’s been a long time since we started afresh. Though they remained playful all their lives – Y I K E S ! – it’s not the same as bringing home a charged-up little lightning bolt of energy that is the most playful hunter on earth – a 7 ½ week old kitten.

Phoebe June had an adorable sister. Here they are on the day we met when I was trying to decide which to adopt.

Sweet Sister seemed docile and shy – such endearing qualities. Phoebe June, on the other hand, entered the room with an air that suggested that if it were not a fun-filled place, she’d be happy to remedy the problem in three seconds or less.

Having had a couple of truly neurotic cats in the past, I chose brave kitty. I got brave kitty! She’s smart and tries her best to cooperate with the rules, but some things prove irresistible, such as the taking down of the Christmas tree. I should have probably gotten a sitter for that one.

To give you a glimpse of our fun-filled days and a guide should you consider bringing home a kitten, I’m sharing this list that reflects how we’ve acclimated to Phoebe June’s world.

Cats are fascinating and each one seems to have strange traits, odd fears and unique habits that don’t have any rhyme or reason and don’t quite fit in with any of the scientific studies on cats. There are just some things the experts can’t explain about feline behavior.

Phoebe June has her share of these quirks already, but the one that is the most puzzling and causes me the greatest loss of sleep is her unexplainable desire to eat my hair! This she confines, annoyingly, to the early morning hours. She’s a clingy sort, but being nocturnal, she roams a bit a night and nods off under the bed between her excursions and a few hops back onto the bed to be sure I haven’t run away from home.

Then, in the pre-dawn, when the stealthy mountain lions of the wild stir and head out for the hunt, Phoebe June stirs also. She hunts for one thing only – Mommy! It’s as though she’s re-discovered me after a prolonged absence and the joy is too much for her.

Climbing onto my head with her purr-box rumbling like a Harley, she wraps all four paws around my head and clinging with all her might, tries to remove my hair! And the question is: Why?

Needless to say, at this point I am awake! As I disentangle her and pull her down to ruffle her fur and give her a snuggle, I can’t help but giggle at the amount of affection that seems to be lavished upon me in this strange act. Though she may be clutching at my head with all her strength, there are no claws involved, only purring, wallowing and (sigh) gnawing.

“And then you fall back asleep?” you assume. Nope. Phoebe June’s full affections take a while to dissipate and she’ll make several more attempts at snatching me bald before she gets it out of her system and settles down on my shoulder to flop around until breakfast is served.

Hopefully, this is a passing phase, because one of her favorite times to run amok through the house is around 10:45 each night. These frenzies can last a couple of hours, so if she doesn’t give up one or the other habits, I may be feeling soon, as they say, “a mere shadow of my former self.”

I thought Phoebe June’s story might bring you a smile during the wintry days of January. You can deny it, but I know you’re watching those funny cat videos online!

If you’re a “cat person”, I’m sure you have a story or two to of your own about the cats in your life. Scroll back up to the top of this post and “Leave a Comment” to share them. I’d love to hear from you!

Have some cat-loving friends? Be sure to SHARE!

Want more on how Smuffy deals with cats? Check it out here, but please, cover your eyes!

Midwest Storyteller

…where each day's journey leads to a better place

Funny Cat Stories

The Phoebe June Diaries: (Stolen Entries #2) Holiday Hits and Misses

Phoebe June’s Big Day!

Top 10 Things You’ll Reconsider Once You’ve Become a “Kitten Mom”

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