Curly Hair

Now that I have taken you into my confidence with “Confessions of a Curly Girl” and have embarrassed myself beyond measure by releasing photos that probably ought to have been burned, let’s tackle the real dilemma. What’s a girl to do without spending a fortune on products that end up in the trash because they make you look like a Kansas tumbleweed?

Who is this mysterious, wild-haired woman from my past? She still haunts me.

I’ve done it all. Moan with me if you’ve ever slept on juice cans or cut-up potato chip cans. Ever wrapped your wet hair around your head, securing it with long clips only to wake up in the morning with your hair still wet and creases to mark the placement of every clip? Ever had Big Sister or a friend comb segments of hair over the ironing board and smooth each one with a steam iron? A few tips on this: Choose a steady-handed operator, sit still, and make sure the iron is on a low setting!

I shy away from salon-trained personnel. Too many have sent me home in tears. Two objects, if wielded in my presence, still send me into fight or flight mode – thinning scissors and razors. Curly Girls – don’t go there!

Stylists with straight hair don’t understand the “spring factor” or the fact that different areas of your scalp are producing different degrees of curl. The top of my hair is curlier than the rest. If the top isn’t left longer, the spring factor goes into effect and I come off as Eunice, as played by Carol Burnett here.

Hair products pose another problem. I tried everything to tame and condition my dry and brittle hair, the result of endless efforts to get it to behave using dryers, irons, hot rollers – you name it. My attempts left me bearing a marked resemblance to the poor soul in Shakespeare’s Hamlet who, should he hear the frightful tale, find that his once knotted and combined locks were to part and each particular hair to stand on end like quills upon the fretful porpentine. I’ve had my share of porpentine days.

Around ten years ago, I spotted a woman across a crowded room who changed my life. We Curly Girls can tell the difference between a perm and natural curl in a nanosecond and hers was the real deal. However, each curl, smooth and defined, remained separated from its neighbor in a way that I can only describe as a masterpiece of style. I decided she would be my friend whether she liked it or not.

She knew the struggle. We dove into a hair discussion as though we were veterans sharing war stories. She made two recommendations. I pass them on to you now with alll the urgency I can muster.

Firstly, order the “Curly Girl Handbook” from Amazon. No kidding. This is a guide you need. It’s written by Lorraine Massey, whose hair is curlier than mine. Her chain of salons in New York cater to Curly Girls and she’s developed a line of products that do what we’ve all been longing for – tame, de-frizz, and define those curls.

Inside, you’ll find a DVD that is a must-watch in order for you to get a grasp on the instructions outlined in the book. It’s difficult for most of us to wrap our brains around leaving a lot of product in our hair. Didn’t our mothers tell us to rinse all that stuff out? This technique may not work with other products, but it works with her line.

Here are the products I’ve been using for years now. You can find them at Ulta or at a Deva Hair Salon near you.

Secondly (and this is so important), find an actual, for-real, bona fide Deva salon and get your hair cut there by a stylist who has been trained by the Deva professionals.

Deva haircuts are a whole new ballgame. Rather than having your hair combed out and cut while stretched, each individual curl is cut while curly. The cuts I got at Frontenac Salon in St. Louis not only changed the whole look of my hair, but they also trained me in using the products as well. You’re thinking this sounds expensive, but it isn’t. The cost covers cut, No-Poo (because there’s no poo in theirs), style and cut (yes, they always cut it twice before you leave). I found it to be a bargain considering that you’ll only be going three times a year. Yep! They train you in how to maintain your cut in between times!

Deva also makes a nice travel set so that you can try the products. The bottles sizes comply with TSA regulations and a microfiber hair towel is included because you’ll discover that you’ll never want another terry cloth towel to touch your head again. An old T-shirt also works well to keep from ruffling up your “do”.

I’m sure your travel set will look a little spiffier than the one in the photo. Mine has accompanied me on many a journey.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I’m about to share with you some issues that I’ve had with hair loss. Though I have always been an extreme “shedder” and I haven’t noticed an increase with the use of Deva products, I have done an online search and have found several folks who feel it has been an issue for them. I may take a brief hiatus (though I hate to do so) just to see if I notice any differences. Do your own experimenting and research – you’ll know best what works for you.

Concerning hair loss, let me just say that to minimize this problem is just plain wrong. Much of our identity and self-worth is tied to how we feel about our face and hair. One survey showed that when people were asked what they noticed first when meeting a new person, it was a toss-up between hair and shoes!

As I shared in “It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Humidity: Confessions of a Curly Girl”, I had to deal with hair loss through chemo years ago. It was no badge of courage for me. I had recurrent dreams about hair the whole time. I dreamed about my hair and everybody else’s for months. It returned in time, curls and all, and I’ve never wished my curls away since.

There are other things besides chemo, however, that can take away your hair. A few years ago, after burning my candle at both ends for too long a time, I fell into Stage 3 Adrenal Fatigue. When my body ran out of its much needed cortisol, everything else crashed along with it – thyroid and just about every hormone on the list.

I am not your doctor and cannot advise you, but I will tell you from personal experience that adrenal fatigue is real, there are lab tests for it, I have faithfully followed my doctor’s treatment and it has worked!

I lost a lot of hair. Since I’d already been there, done that and gotten my T-shirt at the Relay for Life, I had no intention of letting this get to the point of no return. Curls became a blessing as their fluff enabled me to hide how much hair I’d lost. There were tears – lots of them!

If you have hair loss, stop attributing it to age or other factors that you think are just part of life. Something can be done. See a doctor specializing in functional medicine who knows how to check your blood work, thyroid, adrenals and hormones in ways that “regular” doctors do not. Get some answers because the answers are out there! Don’t be afraid to ask what else can be done.

When my adrenals, thyroid and other hormones began to return to normal levels, I told my doctor that I wanted to get more aggressive in speeding up the return of my hair. She recommended these supplements from Elon Essentials and I can’t say enough good things about them.

I take a capsule daily and apply the serum every morning to the areas where I’ve noticed the most thinning. This is a slow process as you wait through several shedding cycles, but I’ve gotten a lot of hair back throughout the two years I’ve been using it.

Curly Girls, may your days be filled with low humidity, definition and zero-frizz! May you have glorious curls and plenty of them! My former tumbleweed now looks healthy and defined while I’m waiting for more of my volume to return.

“Like”, “share” and “pin” this post to share with your fellow Curly Girls. Leave a comment – How about sharing a bit about your life as a Curly Girl?

SUBSCRIBE now to receive an email notification when I post something new.

Ah, September! Everyone has their own reasons for loving this transitional month, but the first thing that comes to my mind is the joy of having a passable hair-do again.

I have no idea what month of the year my Scotch and Irish ancestors arrived here, but it must have been in autumn or at the first greening of spring. They gazed at the rolling hills, lush foliage, sighed with relief and exclaimed, “Ah! Just like the old country!” I’m convinced if they’d arrived during one of our ice-encrusted winters or during a summer such as we’ve just had they would have kept right on moving. They’d have been justified in doing so if only to spare their children and grandchildren endless bad hair days.

One of the great mysteries of the universe is humidity. Hanging at one hundred percent day after day and holding moisture so thick you can feel it part like the Red Sea as you pass through, it does not nourish the clouds. It may not rain for weeks at a time. Anything that heavy and oppressive ought to give way to sheer gravity, wouldn’t you think?

All the straight-haired girls complain about the humidity’s affects, but I caution you – don’t do it in front of us Curly Girls. It’s the equivalent of hearing a guy say that his pain is worse than being in labor. On a good day, we Curly Girls will offer a weak, indulgent smile and keep our mouths shut, but once we’re about three weeks into Bad Hair Season, we are no longer responsible for our actions.

Some of us were blessed with curls from the get-go. For others, like me, it comes upon a person suddenly and without warning. There I was, going along through grade school, minding my own business, when the sudden change blindsided me.

It had never been perfectly straight. My mom or big sisters could wind my wet locks around their fingers and get it to turn up or under on the ends. My bangs, cut straight across my forehead, lay in an even line, behaving as bangs should.

Then, it happened. Within a matter of months, things spiraled (literally) out of control, resulting in a series of school photos unfit for the human eye. My parents and siblings, who may have shared a dozen or so waves amongst themselves, had no idea what to do about the walking bush they used to call little sister. I still remember being perched on a stool, surrounded my multiple siblings all offering advice to my scissor-wielding sister as she stood beside me trying to figure out where to start. Their hand gestures scared me to pieces.

If your hair is straight, humidity will reduce the volume and relax the curl. You may even get a frizz or two on top. My advice – take it and be grateful. I, on the other hand, can gauge the relative humidity by consulting my bangsometer. It’s readings fluctuate all the way from winter’s “sprayed-and-stayed” to spring’s “why-are-you-pointing-over-there?” to mid-summer’s “oh-for-cryin’-out-loud-I-used-a-ton-of-spray-and-they’re-actually-curling-FORWARD!”

When that happens, we Curly Girls bear it as best we can, along with life’s other injustices. However, it does provoke nasty looks when someone approaches with a camera.

I know what you’re thinking. I can hear you saying, “Silly girl, when it’s humid outside, just let it do its own thing!” Ah! Again, let me enlighten you. Curly bangs must be inches longer than straight bangs. Otherwise, they will bunch up next to the hairline in a wad. I refuse to post a picture of that sort of disaster here. Ever.

There are times when you just pretend that voluminous is glorious and smile anyway.

The squiggles you see in my little blondie’s hair were but a foreshadowing. She grew up to have some pretty sassy curls, too, and yes, they brought with them the trauma I’d expected they would.

Once a year, on my birthday, I throw caution to the wind and actually approach open flame with “the hair”.

You’re probably assuming that Smuffy is off-camera, stage left, holding a fire extinguisher, but no, I do it like Evel Knievel.

The nineties offered an opportunity to express myself. I loaded up on styling gel and while everybody else turned upside down to blow dry and spent a fortune on perms and hours achieving volume, I just air-dried and walked through doors sideways.

It balances out the shoulder pads and the wallpaper really well, don’t you think?

On really bad hair days, I could shove in a few pins and contain the mess on top (if you call this look “contained”).

A friend told me that this attempt at a “glamour shot” succeeded in making me look like Miss Kitty Russell, owner and proprietor of the Long Branch Saloon in Dodge City, Kansas. I took no offense. (I still have a crush on Marshall Matt Dillon.)

Photographic evidence does not lie.

Taken just one day apart, these photos show that just when you think you’ve got a grip on things, humidity and humility arrive hand-in-hand, causing your smile lose its natural ease and become strained. Please, someone tell me that I did not leave the house on Day 2! (These are not mug shots. We were testing lipstick shades, just in case you’re thinking I got arrested for that hair.)

Over the years, I stopped moaning, “I hate my hair!” Parts of God’s plan will always remain a mystery to mere mortals and He certainly performed a mysterious work on my head. I made peace with the fact that He knew what He was doing, especially after reading the words of the ardent lover in Song of Solomon. Remember him – the one who bounds over the hills like a young stag, pleading, “Arise, come, my darling, my beautiful one…”? One of the physical qualities that had him so worked up was the fact that his beloved possessed hair “like a flock of goats”.

I think I’ve offered enough evidence here to prove that this man would go wild over me! If there’s ever been a woman with hair like a flock of goats…I’m just sayin’.

Smuffy has embraced my curly look as though he’s Solomon himself and has come to the point where, if a wild notion strikes me to straighten it, he gives me the thumbs-down.

The struggle to come to the place where I could shout from the rooftops, “I love my hair!” came almost nineteen years ago when I walked into the chemo room knowing we would soon say good-bye.

Since then, all I can say is , “Love it! Love it! Can’t get enough of it!” But, golly, I’m glad it’s September!

If you’re struggling to embrace your curls, I hope my story has helped you appreciate them or, at the very least, smile a little and lighten up! Need a stronger remedy? You’ll find more on my “Laugh” page. enjoy Life, Laughter and Lemons here and, by all means, catch up on my exciting “Life With Smuffy”!

My little goats have been corralled and now behave themselves to a much greater degree. A lifelong search has brought me, at last, fabulous products that separate the curls and define them, making all the difference. Coming up: A review of my all-time favorite Curly Girl arsenal of products!

Subscribe so you don’t miss it! Leave a comment – I’d love to hear from you!

Today I am linking up with Anna Nutthall. For more inspiring posts, click here.

Midwest Storyteller

…where each day's journey leads to a better place

Curly Girl Hair Products – The Struggle is Real

It’s Not the Heat – It’s the Humidity! (Confessions of a Curly Girl)

Share this:

Share this: