My little owl has been flying across the country, but he’s finally ended up here –
He’s made his new home with Jan in Greeley, Colorado!
Jan tells me that she sometimes forgets to enter to win my freebie on the first Friday of the month, but this time she remembered. Good for you, Jan!
October marked the first time that I’ve had to do the drawing twice. That is because our first winner did not respond to the email notice and provide me with contact information so that I could send out the gift. After waiting a week, we conducted the drawing again from those who had previously entered.
Jan tells me that she’s already named her new little friend “Ollie”. I hope the two of you will be very happy together, Jan! When you introduce Ollie to your friends, I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you tell them that he came all the way from Midwest Storyteller so they can subscribe and enter to win also.
If you haven’t subscribed, you’ll want to do that now.
To see the original freebie offer for this adorable owl from Hobby Lobby, click here. I know there’s a store near you with more awesome fall décor. Or, you can order online here.
The next First Friday Freebie drawing will be on Friday, November 2, 2018 and only SUBSCRIBERS can win!
A winner will be chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight on the day of the drawing by leaving a comment as instructed in the post. See the revised rules below – I am trying to make certain that I do my best to make contact with the winners.
And now, here are the Freebie Rules.
First Friday Freebies are available to SUBSCRIBERS ONLY. That means if you come to the post through social media or someone has emailed you a link to it and you haven’t become a subscriber yet, you’ll need to hop on over to the right sidebar and do that really quick. If you are on a phone or tablet, the easiest way is to go to the “About Me” page. All it means to be a subscriber is that you’ll receive an email each time Midwest Storyteller has something new, which won’t likely be more than once or twice a week. It keeps you from missing out on all the fun and FREE STUFF! And, I’m not sharing your emails with anybody.
IMPORTANT: After subscribing, you MUST check your email to confirm the subscription or it will not appear. Then, sadly, you won’t be eligible to enter.
To enter the drawing, scroll back up to the top of this post and under the title, click on “Leave a Comment”. Subscribers who comment as directed before midnight on the first Friday of the month will enter the drawing, provided they are already on the subscribers list and live within the continental United States.
The drawing will be conducted the weekend after Friday’s freebie offer. The winner will receive an email at the address they’ve provided in order to subscribe. ENTRANTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CHECKING THEIR EMAIL so they can receive notification. If the winner does not respond within a week of the original contest date to provide name and mailing address, they will forfeit the freebie and another winner will be selected from those who have already entered according to the rules. Follow these four simple steps and subscribe now. Then, you’ll be ready for November 2nd.“Share”, “like” and “pin” this post! You’re friends will want to enter to win, too!
Have an opinion on the Freebies? Leave a comment! If you’re on your computer, scroll back up under the title of this post and let me know what you’re thinking. On various devices, you may find “Leave a Comment” at the bottom of the post.
If it hadn’t been for Martha Stewart, it would have slipped right past us.
I happened to see Martha on social media this morning posing with her felines. I knew I couldn’t let myself be outdone by Martha. What she had to offer in numbers (not to mention fluff), we completely make up for by the fact that we have the one and only Phoebe June.
Since today is a rare and glorious autumn day, we celebrated National Cat Day with a trip to the cemetery just down the street. This old cemetery, designed by an architect long ago, offers a great place to get away for a peaceful stroll.
Phoebe enjoyed the autumn splendor as much as I did.
The perfect afternoon held one spot of rare excitement for both of us. As we strolled down one of the long avenues between the towering cypress trees, we heard a loud pop and turned to see what caused the noise. There on the paved lane in front of us lay a squirrel, flat on his back, motionless. I surveyed my surroundings to make certain that someone with a BB gun hadn’t shot the squirrel and might perhaps take another shot and hit Phoebe June or me. (Small town in the Midwest – that sort of thing happens here.)
We crept toward Mr. Squirrel with caution and with Phoebe’s tail bushed out and the fur along her spine doing its imitation of a razor-backed hog. As we approached, the squirrel stretched his back legs out as far has he could as though he’d forgotten his morning exercises. He gave them a few jerks as if to see if they’d been stretched to their absolute limits and relaxed again, ignoring the stick under his back. I knelt before him, trying to get my camera in place. It isn’t every day you get to hold your lens ten inches from a squirrel’s nose, which I now noticed was just a bit bloody.
Phoebe June sat two or three feet from the marvel, trying to decide if it was a gift from above or something that warranted caution. Like me, she’d never seen a squirrel with a concussion before.
After a slow roll, the squirrel sat up and studied us, weaving back and forth as though his eyes lacked focus and his head throbbed. I took aim, but before I could press the camera shutter, he staggered toward me, slipped under my left thigh and tottered off through the gravestones. Phoebe June flew after him like the mighty huntress she knows she is, but I reigned her in, reluctant to put the poor little fellow through any more trauma. Also, they bite.
Having danced out onto the tip of a fragile branch of one of the tallest trees in the cemetery, it had snapped, the squirrel had plunged to the pavement below and had been knocked senseless. After all that and wakening to find himself up close and personal with a human and a cat, this squirrel had had enough for one day.
I got no photo, but Phoebe had just about all the excitement she could stand for National Cat Day. That is, until somebody came walking through with their dog. Body language says it all. She disapproved.
Happy National Cat Day! Hug your kitty! Hand out a couple of extra treats. Have a cozy sit filled with chin scratches and neck massages.
Phoebe June recommends that you get into the spirit of National Cat Day and adopt a kitty if you don’t have one, because, as we all know, they are therapeutic. Food, litter, catnip toys and a few vet visits can run into money, but they are much cheaper than a psychiatrist!
Questions? Phoebe June is on hand to answer. Caution: She can be brutally honest. She’s excited to read your comments but her replies may reveal just a touch of high-mindedness.
I have a great recipe to share today. It’s revised. Yes, I am confessing here and now that I have a past. It’s my “Middle-of-the-road Past”. That makes it not quite so bad as my “Deep Dark Past”, but nowhere near as sparkling as my “Practically Pristine Present”.
You, see, I didn’t always eat healthy. The Trim Healthy Mama eating plan wasn’t always a part of my life and I certainly wasn’t always a certified lifestyle coach who helped people get their health on the right track.
In the really olden days, it was donuts (lots of donuts), coffee (by the pot full, day and night), big block candy bars, bags of chips, soda, giant chocolate malts. And I should perhaps mention that I could have been crowned the Bread and Pasta Queen – hands down. Mysteriously, and for a long time, I never gained an ounce. Little did I know, however, that there were wheels within wheels and not all bad eating habits turn into fat. I was not making the gut happy. The hormones were cruel, nasty things and as far as pain and energy levels, I was too tired to cry. No, wait! The hideous allergies were taking up all my tears.
After I’d switched it all up and moved on to natural sweeteners (honey, agave, palm sugar) and whole grains and become a walking herbal concoction, I felt like I’d taken a giant step, only to find out later that it was a baby step with good intentions.
Then came my whole episode with a cancer diagnosis, which you can learn a little about here.
A high-quality whole food supplement helped immensely, but I really can’t think of a greater hormone disrupter than chemotherapy. Then came the poundage.
Now, with Trim Healthy Mama, I eat lots of yummy food and keep my goal weight without starving myself all the time or just being plain cranky.
This recipe came about in a search for healthier, better tasting version of a canned “old stand-by”. If ever a side dish needed to be re-thought, “pork ‘n beans” is at the top of the list. The canned version focuses on the sauce, leaving us all short on beans and almost devoid of all pork as we try to keep everything else on our plates out of the path of the runny mess and avoid the two little squiggly, fatty pieces of pork that seem to have been dropped in just for show. Finding pork and beans lacking, we often give them a miss, considering them a mere ingredient in other recipes which they also succeed in making way too runny.
Beans play an important role in our diets, but to be honest, most of us have a love-hate relationship with them.
What summer barbecue is complete without a huge casserole dish brimming with baked beans? What fall camp-out or retreat has ever been planned that excluded a pot of beans?
As members of the legume family, beans are cousins to lentils, peas and the like. Loaded with nutrients, we can count on them as a valuable source of protein, fiber, magnesium, iron and zinc. That means they can help us with fatigue, weakness, heart palpitations, loss of appetite and irritability. Beans are a healthy carb and those make our hormones happy – oh, yes, they do! The sugar in canned pork ‘n beans, however, makes our hormones very, very unhappy.
Beans have been found to contain anti-oxidants and anti-inflammatory properties and in certain studies have clearly been shown to have a positive effect on those with coronary heart disease and to lower cholesterol.
Now, if we must, we’ll discuss the down-side of beans. Must we, really? Their reputation has been wrecked by the endless jokes directed at the poor, humiliated souls who succumb to digestive discomfort because of them.
Why, we all ask! Why? It’s like this: Beans contain their own natural sugars – stachyose, raffinose and verbascose – and we cannot digest those due to the fact that we are missing an enzyme that is required to break them down. Therefore, when beans reach the colon, the bacteria there ferments those sugars and need I tell you what fermenting substances do? They give off gas. That, dear readers, is the awful truth in a nutshell.
Beans have never really bothered me much. This mystifies Smuffy, who fluctuates between begging me to make beany recipes and then begging me to never do it again. I’ve always figured there must be some way to make it easier for him to eat his favorite foods.
The answer always eluded his mother. I remember sitting in her living room once after a meal. Smuffy, after offering to help his dad with a project in the yard, exited through the back door as though carried along by sheer self-propulsion. She turned to me, sighing. “I tell you what,” she muttered with a shake of her head, “I’ve raised five of the beaniest boys there ever was!”
I challenged myself to eliminate (if you’ll pardon my expression) the bean predicament or at least get to the bottom (goodness – there I go again!) of the problem.
I tried to convince Smuffy that one of the main issues lay in the fact that I’m a fabulous cook. I suggested that he limit his portions rather than eating four bowls at a sitting. This remedy brought about no results other than an eye-roll directed at me.
Then, of course, succumbing to advertising, we tried the tiny bottles of drops that you were supposed to add to beans upon consumption. No measurable results there – not that we were measuring! Is this blog post over yet?
Then, I had a revelation. My mother had seven children. She spent decades feeding us beans – lots of beans. I couldn’t remember any real issues with beans, but then she had always used dry beans, soaking them overnight. Another flash of the obvious came to mind. Each time I opened a can of beans for a recipe that called for draining and rinsing them, there were bubbles galore! Perhaps we’d been ingesting all those bubbles! Then, another realization hit me. The beans with the worst effects seemed to be “pork ‘n beans” – that meant they were not only canned, but never rinsed!
Here are my conclusions after much research and experimentation.
Never use canned beans! What could be more simple that measuring dry beans into a bowl and adding filtered water? Soak 8 hours or overnight, then POUR THE SOAKING WATER OFF, add fresh water and salt and simmer the beans until desired tenderness. The added advantage to this is that you’ll have control over the doneness. Canned beans are always extremely overcooked and by the time we get them into our soups or casseroles and cook them even longer, we tend to end up with mush.
Need “pork ‘n beans”? No problem! I’m giving you the super easy recipe today. The canned version is loaded with syrupy goo that your doctor and your body would rather you didn’t have anyway, so just stir up a batch of your own!
Watch what you eat with beans. Do eat lots of greens, making your insides a happy place. Don’t eat sugars or things that turn to sugar such as bread or white potatoes. Use high-quality stevia (at least 95% pure) and other natural sweeteners in bean recipes. If you want a great bean recipe that needs no sweeteners at all, you can make a big skillet full of my fabulous chili con carne (recipe coming soon.)
Since digestion starts in the mouth, savor your beans by chewing them well. This is also a little easier to do when you start from scratch as we are today because your beans won’t be overcooked and mushy like canned beans are.
Rinse. Rinse. Rinse! Never cook beans in the water you soaked them in. Wash them, rinse them, soak them, rinse them again, add fresh water and salt, then cook your beans according to package directions and your personal preference as to doneness.
Forgot to soak your beans the night before or before you left in the morning? There is usually a quick-soak method on the package, that will work if your schedule permits.
Use fresh beans. Their effects increase along with their shelf life, so buy them when you need them from a store that keeps its inventory moving. I know it’s tempting to keep dried foods around forever, but it’s not a great idea if you’re trying to lower the risk of after-effects.
Let’s get started with easy homemade Pork ‘n Beans:
After doing lots of research, I began with a “clone” recipe fromwww.palatablepastime.com for Campbell’s Pork and Beans, but it changed drastically as I went along! Theirs was designed to remove high-fructose corn syrup. Mine is designed to be less “beany” and healthier all around. Thanks to Sue Lau for getting me off to a great start!
This recipe is equivalent to a little over four cans (11-15 ounces each) of beans. You can cut the recipe in half if you like, but they are super easy to divide into containers and freeze. Since they are way yummier than the canned version, your family will probably eat more than you expect.
You can use chunks of pork, but I prefer bacon. Who doesn’t? I always bake my bacon – no mess in the kitchen and it turns out perfect every time. I fix the whole package and layer it between paper towels to freeze. I recommend baking it slightly less crispy than you normally enjoy it. Then, when you use it in this recipe or heat it in the microwave to enjoy with breakfast, it will come out perfect! Keep in mind that adding lots of bacon straight into the recipe will make it a crossover (XO), but adding one slice of chopped bacon to your own serving will keep this an “E” for you to enjoy.
Everybody’s busy! The bacon and the beans can be prepared a day or two ahead of time, making this a “throw-together” recipe!
Hearty, Healthy Homemade Pork ‘n Beans
Ingredients:
8 slices uncured bacon, baked on a broiler pan in a 200-250 degree oven for about an hour.
1 pound navy beans, rinsed, soaked 8 hours or overnight, rinsed again and cooked in salted water until tender. Drain and rinse again in warm water.
1 – 2 cups water
1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
3 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup molasses
¼ cup raw honey
1 ½ teaspoons garlic powder
1 ½ teaspoons onion powder
1 ½ teaspoons sweet or smoked paprika
1 ½ teaspoons Celtic sea salt
3 Tablespoons arrowroot powder shaken in ¼ cup cold water
Prepare the bacon and beans as directed.
Mix all ingredients in a large saucepan and simmer until flavors are blended (5-10 minutes). Add arrowroot and water mixture and return to a soft boil, stirring constantly until sauce reaches desired thickness (1-2 minutes).
Makes 8-12 servings or the equivalent of about 4 (11-15 ounce cans).
Enjoy! But if you eat them all, you’ll need to be prepared to make another batch, because we’re about to take those Pork ‘n Beans and create a slow-cooker masterpiece!
Click below for your free printable of the recipe and bean tips!
Searching for luscious fall soups? I have two ultra-simple recipes you’ll love! Try Creamy Leek Soup with Chicken and Sweet Potatoes, a “Golden Ladle Winner” and if you’re like me and can’t get enough pumpkin right now, check out my Zesty Pumpkin Soupwhich comes with a bonus recipe forBilly’s Biscuitsthat is guaranteed to please.
Questions? Comments? If you make the soup and/or the biscuits, let me know how you liked it! Scroll back up to the title of this post and “Leave a Comment”. And why not SUBSCRIBE, so you’ll receive an email reminder each time Midwest Storyteller has something new.
Yes, Jamie – where are you? Normally, I do love a mystery, but…
The winner of October’s First Friday Freebie is “Jamie E.” Jamie has been notified with a reply to a comment on the blog post as well as through a personal email. However, Jamie has not responded to me with contact information to claim the free gift. It’s been over a week.
So sad.
Since I have no way of knowing whether Jamie is male or female or whether Jamie lives in my own hometown or anywhere else in the continental United States, it makes it impossible for me to send out the free home décor from Hobby Lobby.
So, my dear readers, please help! Share this post and if you have any idea who Jamie might be, please contact this person and let them know they’ve won. I’ll give it a few more days. If I do not hear from “Jamie E.” by Friday, October 19th, I’ll have Smuffy choose another name from among others who have entered.
Check out what Jamie is missing out onhere. This owl is wondering “whoo” will give him/her a new home!
Thanks for sleuthing with me! Leave a comment, but be sure not to share any personal information. If you have any such details to share, please email me at barb@midweststoryteller.com.
On October 10, 2017, a kindle of kittens arrived, filling the mud room of the country home with tiny mews, squeaks and squirms. We didn’t have a clue.
Not until almost two months later did Smuffy hand me a gift bag for our anniversary. It contained, mysteriously, a can of kitten food. Since we had no cat and hadn’t had one for a decade, I stared at Smuffy, speechless.
“You don’t want a cat,” I finally managed to utter after he asked me if I intended to say anything.
“But you do,” he smiled. “And life is short, and I’m ready, and you need to get a kitty. That is, if you want one.”
I lapsed into another stunned silence for a bit and then a conversation started that lasted for the rest of the day. Here we are enjoying our anniversary dinner and still talking about it.
My main concern was that Smuffy might not be ready to become a kitty-daddy – heart and soul, that is. The last thing I wanted was to end up in a situation where he put up with a cat around the house for my sake while secretly hating every minute of it.
Once he assured me that he’d been thinking about it for months and was fully ready to commit, I got downright giddy at the thought. Since December isn’t really the season around here for “please, please, pleeeeeease take one of these kittens off my hands”, my word of mouth efforts yielded no leads.
I made a bold move and tried social media, hoping that I wouldn’t be swamped with 150 offers to wade through as I tried to make a decision.
Oddly, just one prospect appeared who had two kittens ready for a home. They both happened to be females, which I wanted, and the photos were adorable. On December 7th, a mere five days after Smuffy lost his marbles and made the offer, we adopted Phoebe June and it’s been nothing but fun, games and squirt-bottle discipline around here ever since.
And Smuffy, you ask? His heart melted and within the first week she’d become his little “Junebug”. When it comes to kitty discipline, he dreads nothing more than having to be the bad guy. Let’s just call him Mr. Marshamallow.
As for myself, I didn’t know how much I needed Phoebe June until I got her. We romp and play as though she’s four weeks old and I’m four years old. Well, I haven’t dressed her up in doll clothes or anything, but I’ve come pretty close. I determined to keep her from being fearful of every little thing by harness “training” (and I use that word loosely because, she is, after all, a cat) her and taking her everywhere. Now, she’s a social butterfly and is not neurotic, but everybody thinks I am!
We’re celebrating around here today with a couple of extra toys from the dollar store, some “big girl” food and a trip to the vet to weigh in. You might think the latter would be enough to ruin a birthday for most cats, but Phoebe takes the kitty doctor in stride, along with her trips to see Amy Egglady, window shopping or popping in to see friends.
Happy 1st Birthday, Phoebe June! You’ve come a long way from the little powder puff nestled in the palm of my hand.
Cat years are calculated differently than dog years. It proceeds faster at first and then slows down to a ratio of Human: 1 = Cat: 3. Right now, Phoebe is supposed to be the equivalent of a twelve-year-old. We might just be moving into more exciting times. Hmmm…
I keep this Shakespearean quote above Phoebe’s playhouse –
As you can see, it suited her from the start. Born to leap, Phoebe June flies through the air with the greatest of ease all without the need for a trapeze. Add to that the fact that she is emotionally clingy, loudmouthed and opinionated and you’ll have but a mere hint as to how our “empty nest” household has changed.
In fact, Phoebe June talks non-stop! It should have been no surprise to discover that she’s been keeping a diary. I’ll be sharing some of her thoughts and experiences with you whenever I can manage to sneak a peek without getting caught.
I’d love to hear from you, so leave a comment!
Coming up Next: I’m finally getting around to those hearty fall recipes I promised. You’ll get FREE PRINTABLES, too!
Here I am, in turmoil again, as the First Friday Freebie takes flight. If there had been two of these in the store, there would have been no problem, but I’m mustering up my courage to part with this one, because it is meant for you!
It’s October and most of us are in the mood to decorate for fall. This adorable owl wall plaque from Hobby Lobbyjust begs for a place among your fall leaves, candles and other autumn décor.
Here it is, propped up on my mantle where it sat begging me to give it a forever home.
My personal preference would be to have him sitting and not hanging, but there’s a hanger on the back so you can do whichever you like. Did I say “he”? I suppose it could be a “she” or, as they say in “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers”, a “little gal owl fowl”.
The owl measures just under eight inches tall and is seven inches wide, so it’s just the right size to slip in with your other decorations and set things off really well.
If you’d like to enter to win the owl plaque, you’ll need to “Leave a Comment” on this post, saying, “I’m the one WHO wants to win!” and you’ll need to do that before midnight TONIGHT, October 5th, 2018!
Remember, you must be a subscriber to Midwest Storyteller in order for your comment to be entered into the drawing. Therefore, it would be WISE to head over to the right sidebar or use the menu to get to the “About Me” page and do that if you haven’t already.
Help Midwest Storyteller reach your friends and family by SHARING this post through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest or by copying the link into an email so they can enter to win and begin enjoying everything else on the blog as well!
Take a look at past freebies on the “Freebies” where you can see the gifts subscribers have been winning.
Once again, a winner will be chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight tonight by leaving a comment which says, “I’m the one WHO wants to win!”
And now, here are the complete rules:
Three simple steps!
What are you waiting for? Go! Go! Go! Subscribe if you haven’t already, confirm in your email and comment to enter before midnight tonight, October 5th!
Coming up next – It’s that time of the year for hot and hearty comfort foods. I’ll take you on my journey through the wonderful world of that delicious (albeit embarrassing) and nutritious topic – BEANS – and you’ll get two great from-scratch recipes to please your whole family!
By commenting on my last First Friday Freebie, someone got to “tie one on”!
On September 7th, I asked my readers to leave a comment, saying, “I’m ready to tie one on!” in order to enter the drawing for this beautiful scarf. And the winner is…
Liz from Boonville, Missouri!
Liz is another one of my repeat winners. She’s sure to put her name in almost every single month and it’s paying off!
Soon it will be time for October’s freebie! If you haven’t subscribed, you’ll want to do that now because First Friday Freebies are for SUBSCRIBERS ONLY.
Check out the “Freebies” page! After seeing some of the gifts other subscribers have won, you’ll want to be sure you enter to win and SHARE so your friends can do the same.
Congratulations, Liz! The scarf looks great on you and I know you’ll like wearing it now that we are having cooler days.
This beautiful scarf is by MIXIT. You’ll find more great styles in scarves, other accessories and clothing at JCPenney.
The next First Friday Freebie drawing will be on Friday, October 5, 2018. Why not follow Liz’s example and become a SUBSCRIBER so you can win!
A winner will be chosen at random from those subscribers who enter before midnight on the day of the drawing by leaving a comment as instructed in the post.
And now, here are the Freebie Rules.
First Friday Freebies are available to SUBSCRIBERS ONLY. That means if you come to the post through social media or someone has emailed you a link to it and you haven’t become a subscriber yet, you’ll need to hop on over to the right sidebar and do that really quick. If you are on a phone or tablet, the easiest way is to go to the “About Me” page. All it means to be a subscriber is that you’ll receive an email each time Midwest Storyteller has something new, which won’t likely be more than once or twice a week. It keeps you from missing out on all the fun and FREE STUFF! And, I’m not sharing your emails with anybody.
IMPORTANT: After subscribing, you MUST check your email to confirm the subscription or it will not appear. Then, sadly, you won’t be eligible to enter.
To enter the drawing, scroll back up to the top of this post and under the title, click on “Leave a Comment”. Subscribers who comment as directed before midnight on the first Friday of the month will enter the drawing, provided they are already on the subscribers list and live within the continental United States. .Follow these three simple steps and subscribe now. Then, you’ll be ready for October. .“Share”, “like” and “pin” this post! You’re friends will want to enter to win, too! Have an opinion on the Freebies? Leave a comment! If you’re on your computer, scroll back up under the title of this post and let me know what you’re thinking. On various devices, you may find “Leave a Comment” at the bottom of the post.
Leave a comment today and let me know how you are liking the freebies!
Praying that each of you have many opportunities to enjoy the glories of the season! The trees will soon be singing!
“…let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy;” -Psalm 96:12
I took this photo in my yard last fall. A free printable of the word art above is available upon request to subscribers. Click here to subscribe and send me an email or leave a comment with your request.
Now that I have taken you into my confidence with “Confessions of a Curly Girl” and have embarrassed myself beyond measure by releasing photos that probably ought to have been burned, let’s tackle the real dilemma. What’s a girl to do without spending a fortune on products that end up in the trash because they make you look like a Kansas tumbleweed?
Who is this mysterious, wild-haired woman from my past? She still haunts me.
I’ve done it all. Moan with me if you’ve ever slept on juice cans or cut-up potato chip cans. Ever wrapped your wet hair around your head, securing it with long clips only to wake up in the morning with your hair still wet and creases to mark the placement of every clip? Ever had Big Sister or a friend comb segments of hair over the ironing board and smooth each one with a steam iron? A few tips on this: Choose a steady-handed operator, sit still, and make sure the iron is on a low setting!
I shy away from salon-trained personnel. Too many have sent me home in tears. Two objects, if wielded in my presence, still send me into fight or flight mode – thinning scissors and razors. Curly Girls – don’t go there!
Stylists with straight hair don’t understand the “spring factor” or the fact that different areas of your scalp are producing different degrees of curl. The top of my hair is curlier than the rest. If the top isn’t left longer, the spring factor goes into effect and I come off as Eunice, as played by Carol Burnett here.
Hair products pose another problem. I tried everything to tame and condition my dry and brittle hair, the result of endless efforts to get it to behave using dryers, irons, hot rollers – you name it. My attempts left me bearing a marked resemblance to the poor soul in Shakespeare’s Hamlet who, should he hear the frightful tale, find that his once knotted and combined locks were to part and each particular hair to stand on end like quills upon the fretful porpentine. I’ve had my share of porpentine days.
Around ten years ago, I spotted a woman across a crowded room who changed my life. We Curly Girls can tell the difference between a perm and natural curl in a nanosecond and hers was the real deal. However, each curl, smooth and defined, remained separated from its neighbor in a way that I can only describe as a masterpiece of style. I decided she would be my friend whether she liked it or not.
She knew the struggle. We dove into a hair discussion as though we were veterans sharing war stories. She made two recommendations. I pass them on to you now with alll the urgency I can muster.
Firstly, order the “Curly Girl Handbook” from Amazon. No kidding. This is a guide you need. It’s written by Lorraine Massey, whose hair is curlier than mine. Her chain of salons in New York cater to Curly Girls and she’s developed a line of products that do what we’ve all been longing for – tame, de-frizz, and define those curls.
Inside, you’ll find a DVD that is a must-watch in order for you to get a grasp on the instructions outlined in the book. It’s difficult for most of us to wrap our brains around leaving a lot of product in our hair. Didn’t our mothers tell us to rinse all that stuff out? This technique may not work with other products, but it works with her line.
Here are the products I’ve been using for years now. You can find them at Ulta or at a Deva Hair Salon near you.
Secondly (and this is so important), find an actual, for-real, bona fide Deva salon and get your hair cut there by a stylist who has been trained by the Deva professionals.
Deva haircuts are a whole new ballgame. Rather than having your hair combed out and cut while stretched, each individual curl is cut while curly. The cuts I got at Frontenac Salonin St. Louis not only changed the whole look of my hair, but they also trained me in using the products as well. You’re thinking this sounds expensive, but it isn’t. The cost covers cut, No-Poo (because there’s no poo in theirs), style and cut (yes, they always cut it twice before you leave). I found it to be a bargain considering that you’ll only be going three times a year. Yep! They train you in how to maintain your cut in between times!
Deva also makes a nice travel set so that you can try the products. The bottles sizes comply with TSA regulations and a microfiber hair towel is included because you’ll discover that you’ll never want another terry cloth towel to touch your head again. An old T-shirt also works well to keep from ruffling up your “do”.
I’m sure your travel set will look a little spiffier than the one in the photo. Mine has accompanied me on many a journey.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I’m about to share with you some issues that I’ve had with hair loss. Though I have always been an extreme “shedder” and I haven’t noticed an increase with the use of Deva products, I have done an online search and have found several folks who feel it has been an issue for them. I may take a brief hiatus (though I hate to do so) just to see if I notice any differences. Do your own experimenting and research – you’ll know best what works for you.
Concerning hair loss, let me just say that to minimize this problem is just plain wrong. Much of our identity and self-worth is tied to how we feel about our face and hair. One survey showed that when people were asked what they noticed first when meeting a new person, it was a toss-up between hair and shoes!
As I shared in“It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Humidity: Confessions of a Curly Girl”, I had to deal with hair loss through chemo years ago. It was no badge of courage for me. I had recurrent dreams about hair the whole time. I dreamed about my hair and everybody else’s for months. It returned in time, curls and all, and I’ve never wished my curls away since.
There are other things besides chemo, however, that can take away your hair. A few years ago, after burning my candle at both ends for too long a time, I fell into Stage 3 Adrenal Fatigue. When my body ran out of its much needed cortisol, everything else crashed along with it – thyroid and just about every hormone on the list.
I am not your doctor and cannot advise you, but I will tell you from personal experience that adrenal fatigue is real, there are lab tests for it, I have faithfully followed my doctor’s treatment and it has worked!
I lost a lot of hair. Since I’d already been there, done that and gotten my T-shirt at the Relay for Life, I had no intention of letting this get to the point of no return. Curls became a blessing as their fluff enabled me to hide how much hair I’d lost. There were tears – lots of them!
If you have hair loss, stop attributing it to age or other factors that you think are just part of life. Something can be done. See a doctor specializing in functional medicine who knows how to check your blood work, thyroid, adrenals and hormones in ways that “regular” doctors do not. Get some answers because the answers are out there! Don’t be afraid to ask what else can be done.
When my adrenals, thyroid and other hormones began to return to normal levels, I told my doctor that I wanted to get more aggressive in speeding up the return of my hair. She recommended these supplements from Elon Essentialsand I can’t say enough good things about them.
I take a capsule daily and apply the serum every morning to the areas where I’ve noticed the most thinning. This is a slow process as you wait through several shedding cycles, but I’ve gotten a lot of hair back throughout the two years I’ve been using it.
Curly Girls, may your days be filled with low humidity, definition and zero-frizz! May you have glorious curls and plenty of them! My former tumbleweed now looks healthy and defined while I’m waiting for more of my volume to return.
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Ah, September! Everyone has their own reasons for loving this transitional month, but the first thing that comes to my mind is the joy of having a passable hair-do again.
I have no idea what month of the year my Scotch and Irish ancestors arrived here, but it must have been in autumn or at the first greening of spring. They gazed at the rolling hills, lush foliage, sighed with relief and exclaimed, “Ah! Just like the old country!” I’m convinced if they’d arrived during one of our ice-encrusted winters or during a summer such as we’ve just had they would have kept right on moving. They’d have been justified in doing so if only to spare their children and grandchildren endless bad hair days.
One of the great mysteries of the universe is humidity. Hanging at one hundred percent day after day and holding moisture so thick you can feel it part like the Red Sea as you pass through, it does not nourish the clouds. It may not rain for weeks at a time. Anything that heavy and oppressive ought to give way to sheer gravity, wouldn’t you think?
All the straight-haired girls complain about the humidity’s affects, but I caution you – don’t do it in front of us Curly Girls. It’s the equivalent of hearing a guy say that his pain is worse than being in labor. On a good day, we Curly Girls will offer a weak, indulgent smile and keep our mouths shut, but once we’re about three weeks into Bad Hair Season, we are no longer responsible for our actions.
Some of us were blessed with curls from the get-go. For others, like me, it comes upon a person suddenly and without warning. There I was, going along through grade school, minding my own business, when the sudden change blindsided me.
It had never been perfectly straight. My mom or big sisters could wind my wet locks around their fingers and get it to turn up or under on the ends. My bangs, cut straight across my forehead, lay in an even line, behaving as bangs should.
Then, it happened. Within a matter of months, things spiraled (literally) out of control, resulting in a series of school photos unfit for the human eye. My parents and siblings, who may have shared a dozen or so waves amongst themselves, had no idea what to do about the walking bush they used to call little sister. I still remember being perched on a stool, surrounded my multiple siblings all offering advice to my scissor-wielding sister as she stood beside me trying to figure out where to start. Their hand gestures scared me to pieces.
If your hair is straight, humidity will reduce the volume and relax the curl. You may even get a frizz or two on top. My advice – take it and be grateful. I, on the other hand, can gauge the relative humidity by consulting my bangsometer. It’s readings fluctuate all the way from winter’s “sprayed-and-stayed” to spring’s “why-are-you-pointing-over-there?” to mid-summer’s “oh-for-cryin’-out-loud-I-used-a-ton-of-spray-and-they’re-actually-curling-FORWARD!”
When that happens, we Curly Girls bear it as best we can, along with life’s other injustices. However, it does provoke nasty looks when someone approaches with a camera.
I know what you’re thinking. I can hear you saying, “Silly girl, when it’s humid outside, just let it do its own thing!” Ah! Again, let me enlighten you. Curly bangs must be inches longer than straight bangs. Otherwise, they will bunch up next to the hairline in a wad. I refuse to post a picture of that sort of disaster here. Ever.
There are times when you just pretend that voluminous is glorious and smile anyway.
The squiggles you see in my little blondie’s hair were but a foreshadowing. She grew up to have some pretty sassy curls, too, and yes, they brought with them the trauma I’d expected they would.
Once a year, on my birthday, I throw caution to the wind and actually approach open flame with “the hair”.
You’re probably assuming that Smuffy is off-camera, stage left, holding a fire extinguisher, but no, I do it like Evel Knievel.
The nineties offered an opportunity to express myself. I loaded up on styling gel and while everybody else turned upside down to blow dry and spent a fortune on perms and hours achieving volume, I just air-dried and walked through doors sideways.
It balances out the shoulder pads and the wallpaper really well, don’t you think?
On really bad hair days, I could shove in a few pins and contain the mess on top (if you call this look “contained”).
A friend told me that this attempt at a “glamour shot” succeeded in making me look like Miss Kitty Russell, owner and proprietor of the Long Branch Saloon in Dodge City, Kansas. I took no offense. (I still have a crush on Marshall Matt Dillon.)
Photographic evidence does not lie.
Taken just one day apart, these photos show that just when you think you’ve got a grip on things, humidity and humility arrive hand-in-hand, causing your smile lose its natural ease and become strained. Please, someone tell me that I did not leave the house on Day 2! (These are not mug shots. We were testing lipstick shades, just in case you’re thinking I got arrested for that hair.)
Over the years, I stopped moaning, “I hate my hair!” Parts of God’s plan will always remain a mystery to mere mortals and He certainly performed a mysterious work on my head. I made peace with the fact that He knew what He was doing, especially after reading the words of the ardent lover in Song of Solomon. Remember him – the one who bounds over the hills like a young stag, pleading, “Arise, come, my darling, my beautiful one…”? One of the physical qualities that had him so worked up was the fact that his beloved possessed hair “like a flock of goats”.
I think I’ve offered enough evidence here to prove that this man would go wild over me! If there’s ever been a woman with hair like a flock of goats…I’m just sayin’.
Smuffy has embraced my curly look as though he’s Solomon himself and has come to the point where, if a wild notion strikes me to straighten it, he gives me the thumbs-down.
The struggle to come to the place where I could shout from the rooftops, “I love my hair!” came almost nineteen years ago when I walked into the chemo room knowing we would soon say good-bye.
Since then, all I can say is , “Love it! Love it! Can’t get enough of it!” But, golly, I’m glad it’s September!
If you’re struggling to embrace your curls, I hope my story has helped you appreciate them or, at the very least, smile a little and lighten up! Need a stronger remedy? You’ll find more on my “Laugh” page. enjoy Life, Laughter and Lemons here and, by all means, catch up on my exciting “Life With Smuffy”!
My little goats have been corralled and now behave themselves to a much greater degree. A lifelong search has brought me, at last, fabulous products that separate the curls and define them, making all the difference. Coming up: A review of my all-time favorite Curly Girl arsenal of products!
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Today I am linking up with Anna Nutthall. For more inspiring posts, click here.
My little owl has been flying across the country, but he’s finally ended up here –
